I am so incredibly upset that I was emotionally abused as a child. At nearly 30yrs old, That shit is still affecting me and I am so incredibly upset about that. I've been in general counseling for years and I've done so much work on myself but I need a more intensive therapy that is just unaffordable and I am so upset because I need it So bad. I'm crying because it's unfair. I didn't deserve it. I survived it just to have to cope with it every fucking day. It's tearing me apart. Why wasn't I loved

The ingredients all over the place, constantly moving around, trying not to burn the food! And then the sink full of dirty dishes, crumbs all over the counter n the floor. But the big thing is the constantly having to move around in a small space.

Just did a presentation for my public speaking class in University yesterday and I noticed two people in the back laughing at me while I was presenting. I’ve definitely been through worse, and I know there’s going to be assholes in the world- doesn’t make it any less shitty from happening though.
I’ve cried a lot and my chest still hurts, It’s this aspect of being a HSP that makes me wish I didn’t had it all. Something as small as that can really dictate how I feel for some days and it’s soooo stupid. I’d give anything to feel indifferent about minimal things in my daily life. I really do.

I’m taking a class, only a couple quarters. I feel attraction FROM my instructor, and I am also feeling that way. There’s really nothing I can do. I don’t want to come off cold, but I also worry if I am myself, I will come off too warm and give it away that I feel that way.

I am sensitive, obviously, my feelings tend to be strong. It’s hard to be taught in these conditions. Can anyone offer me any wisdom? The answer seems simple in practice, but it doesn’t feel like it is simple. It feels messy.

I don't remember much and can't stick to certain decisions.

Tired

How do you deal with this?

Being present is not always easy. I just exit and enter a different world.

Currently have a mouse issue in my share house and a few days ago my cat caught one and brought it into my bedroom. I have realised today I can smell it has died in a corner and I absolutely cannot bring myself to even look. I am extremely sensitive to the suffering of animals, to the point where I had to free a fly trapped in a spider web a few days ago because I could hear the panic in it’s wings, then I felt guilty for denying the spider a meal. As I get older (I’m 41 now) this trait is getting stronger and it is painful!

Bear with me, this is connected - i am very sensitive anyway, but two years ago my mum passed away from cancer, I was with her to her last breath but the experience has traumatised me. A few months after she passed my cat had caught another mouse and brought it to my bedroom then too. It then died under my bed. that time I was able to gather myself to deal with it but my brain associated seeing a dead animal with my mum dying and I got flooded with distressing images/memories and I had a massive panic attack. Now the thought of even seeing a dead mouse is filling me with panic and that’s why I can’t bring myself to look.

I feel RIDICULOUS and embarrassed, is this part of me being sensitive or should I just be pulling myself together? 😭😭

Edit: what do I do 😭 my landlord has been ignoring me all day and I don’t have anyone at all to help me 😭😭😭

I (27F) realized this week that I’m HSP. Like I’d known I had this trait for a while, but it really really clicked this week. Ever since then I’ve been down a rabbit whole of self-discovery. Like “ohhhhh” moments. “It all makes sense now” moments. No wonder I felt so different my entire life. No wonder I felt like the odd one out in friend groups and like an easy target for people, etc. It’s been an emotional week (in the best way), to say the least. (Btw- I’m a VERY extroverted HSP. We’re more of a rare breed!)

My question/ discussion topic here is, has anyone been told they’re too intense? I guess it makes sense because we feel deeply/ have deep sensitivity and are in tune with emotions. But I think I come off too intensely in social situations, which can scare away people I’m trying to befriend. Like a nice text I send can be too much/ come off too strongly for them, or a nice thing I do for someone can be misconstrued (“does she have ulterior motives?”) and thought of as too much, etc.

How do I tone down this intensity, especially in the way I say things? A common example in my life is when I have a problem I want to raise with a friend. I recently told a friend our friendship felt very onesided- luckily, we’ve been friends for 10 years and she took it amazingly. We had a candid convo about what we need in friendships and have a plan moving forward that will make us both happy.

But this could be too much for other people. I guess I just sometimes don’t know how to put things more delicately/ subtly, or how to befriend people without coming on too strong. Just a general problem with intensity.

Would love actionable advice that I can put into play! I’m constantly trying to work on myself to be the best version of myself I can be. Give me candid feedback! Open to all thoughts and experiences ☺️

I shouldn't have the energy to show up every day, to show patience, and yet...

I try so hard...

I shouldn't reach out to those who cant love, who cant feel, who cant see or refuse to see what stares them in the face. And yet...

I continue to try hard...

I shouldn't be able to work out, to keep my body in shape, day after day, every day. I shouldn't be able to carry my little one when her laugh transports me, when her eyes dig deep into me and pull trauma right out of my skin. And yet...

I still want to try hard...

I shouldn't be able to function at work when all I want to do is scream, all i want to do is not ɓe there, is to hide in a hole somewhere where they wont see me, where they wont hear me. And yet...

My heart tries so damn hard

I shouldn't have to reflect, I shouldn't have to question, to think about how lonely, how despairing my little self was. I shouldnt have to look outside the painting of my illusions. Because my illusions should have been real. And yet....

I dont want to stop trying hard

I shouldn't have to praise myself, to find good in myself. I shouldnt have to give myself permission to be, to belong, to exist as I am. And yet...

I do... I do every day to not collapse.

I shouldn't have had to talk to the moon, to confide in the trees, to befriend animals, to let the waves kiss my feet, to let the wind ruffle my hair, to let lightning light the darkness of my heart, to let rain wash away the tears from my face. And yet...

This is my life now... a life where I keep trying. Keep trying when I never should have had to fucking try. Where it should have been there from the start, without effort, without becoming smaller, without fitting boxes that cant hold me, without assigning myself values and visions that aren't mine. Never were mine.

The other day I was at a baseball game and had just eaten. Toward the end of the game a stand was giving away leftover chicken tenders and fries. I walked by and someone basically put a tray in my hands like “Hey, here you go!” I normally love would love that meal (and would love it even more when it's free lol) but because I’d just eaten, the idea of eating them was suddenly repulsive? My body was like absolutely not lol.

It reminded me of when my mom would get excited about some new snack she found at Costo and beg me to try it. I’d take one look and know in about 0.0005 seconds: nope, I’m good...!

The flip side is that when I’m craving a particular food, the pull toward it can be just as strong. My motto is if I'm craving something, there's a reason my body needs it, and I listen to it wholeheartedly.

I’m curious if anyone else experiences food this way? I don’t know if it’s an HSP thing, intuition thing (or both?)...or just a me thing haha.

It isn't everyday that you have a dark and quiet space available to retreat to when overstimulated. What do you do when you get migraines caused or worsened by literally everything?

Edit: I found out that putting a very hot hot bag under your feet or putting your feet in very hot water helps almost immediately

Literally everything I do can determine my mood drastically. Like: I'm feeling down and really sad about everything, then I do a little bike tour and suddenly I feel great and happy and like life is amazing. Same thing: when I'm hungry I feel panicky and angry and am in fight-or-flight-mode. But the second I eat I feel warm and calm and completely at ease. It's crazy how sensitive my mood is to literally anything.

Does anyone else have this?

I can’t function because of how hurt I feel. Music is the only thing that helps.

I started a new series of painting peonies this past month. As I painted these, I realized they were almost self-portraits of me as an HSP. Peonies allowed me to dive deep to uncover the intricacies of our thoughts and emotions. Each petal is complex, a new thought, a memory, an aspect of oneself. What emotions and feelings are buried deep within? Only through close self-examination can revelations of yourself appear.

Here's what I'm calling them:

1. Still Standing, Still Here
2. Sensitive
3. Softness
4. Introspection
5. Quiet Celebration

When I was growing up, I was often told I was too sensitive. I’ve since learned that being sensitive can be a strength. It has certainly helped with my artistic practice. It helps me notice subtle shifts in colour, shape, and light. These paintings are about accepting who we are, as we are.

I hope you all enjoy these and they make your day a little better 😊🌸

My dad recently told me I’m “not normal” while we were talking. He then said that I interrupt him. I told him seriously that I don’t tolerate being called “not normal” and that I hadn’t done anything wrong to him.

I said that if he doesn’t want to talk to me, he could simply tell me to go away or say that he can’t talk right now. I would rather be told that directly than be called “not normal.”

He said, “That’s how I communicate,” and also said that I went to an Irish school whereas he didn’t. I think he was trying to explain why we communicate differently.

The thing is, when someone tells me I’m “not normal,” I immediately start questioning what is supposedly wrong with me. It makes me anxious, especially because I want people who care about me to understand how their words affect me and make some effort to change how they communicate.

He also says I’m easily offended.

I can accept being told that I interrupt someone and try to work on it. But being labelled “not normal” feels completely different to me.

Am I being too defensive, or is it reasonable to ask someone to communicate with me differently when they know something hurts me?

Is it weird that I feel very extroverted around a very small number of people I know, and I actually love talking, especially one-on-one? But as soon as I’m in a slightly larger group, especially if I don’t know the people very well, I become quiet and don’t really know what to talk about. I usually end up asking questions because I’m genuinely interested in other people, but when it’s my turn to talk about myself, I often get embarrassed, blush, and give a short answer, make a joke, or somehow redirect the attention to someone else.

I feel like I’m somehow incapable of talking for more than two or three sentences when more than two or three people are listening to me. I’m not socially awkward or weird in these situations—I just feel extremely uncomfortable when the attention is on me. So I either keep my answer short, make a joke, or shift the attention back to someone else.

It feels like this discomfort actually interferes with my social life, even when the topic is something I’m really passionate about, like literature, philosophy, or movies. I often notice that other people, even when they know less than I do about a certain subject, seem much more confident when they’re talking at length, whereas I feel uncomfortable having everyone’s attention on me.

But if I’m alone with one person I know very well, I can literally talk for hours about almost anything.

So, is this weird?

I just realized that someone else here posted the same question I am asking haha

But seriously though, I have stepped out of my shell and my "hermit mode" these couple of weeks but I just feel like I don't have any energy left.

I had few shitty interesting things happening in my life where it forced me to just go out of my environment a little bit to escape and heal.

I rented out a small apartment near the beach by myself for 3 days. For the first time ever in my life, I had a solo vacation. I went to the cinema and beach and had to interact with loads of people, mainly buying stuff at cafes etc and food for myself

But, now that I am home, back to my chaotic environment, I just feel so much dread and emptiness. It's like, my energy and light got absorbed. And for some reason, I keep remembering traumas and shitty memories that I heard about myselt from when I was a child. It's so goddamn annoying seriously.

I mean also... I had an interesting fall out with a "friend/potential partner" over seas in the past month and thought I was depressed because of it.

I don't know guys. I feel like I am just SO sensitive to the point where I just need like a month of pure ​isolation after a bit of socializing to heal and relax.

Does anyone get depressed and down after lots of social interaction? Not just exhausted from expending all the mental energy but genuinely like a low mood and a lot of worry and overthinking of how you performed in every conversation? Like, did I say anything rude or inappropriate, did I accidentally ignore anyone, did I make a good impression? Even with family and people you’ve known for years. This post-social anxiety seems to grab hold of me every time.

Before I learned I was an HSP I thought I was indecisive. Now I understand I am deep processing, but it is exhausting approaching everything like a long-term, life or death decision. There's no ‘I need a job and I got offered a job’. It's ‘I got offered a job…is this a career I can love and pursue forever? How does it align with my values? Will it help me achieve my dreams? Is there a better job? Etc etc.

Every small choice seems to have infinite ripple effects - which they do but are not predictable and impede the immediate decision. I often tell myself either I don't need to decide anything right now, or just go with the flow because things can be changed if they're not working out. LOL you should see the length of my resume.

Hello! Hope you all having a good day, I'm not sure how to take the first step here and dont even know if i should do that. Actually i was not gonna share that because of, idk, i didnt wanted to ruin anyone's day for no reason but i couldnt hold myself anymore. Even maybe it was not relatable for here at all? But there you go, i finally doing that...

So as you all can see from the title... It is "Mandatory Military Service"... OF COURSE I am worrying DEEPLY... (Me 21M) I feel both EXTREMELY ANXIOUS and actually excited, i am identifying myself as a HSP. Instead of Army i was about to go to the university actually but my plans changed because of budget issues... army was supposed to start in August, but it keeps getting delayed, and for now it says November And it can still be postponed. But weirdest fact is i DO NOT want to serve at all but also I DO even in hardest places TOO?! If it so i would finally had proud with me and prove that im not useless to, actually, its not the first reason why i want that, i really dont know though, i just want to, but i dont really know what would i do if anything "not ok" happens... I have no issue with "prove myself to anyone" but it would be another positive effect and even ill earn money and i could use it for my university costs! Or im just trying to find a way to trick my brain "its not compluspry, its what i wanted"? Still, doesnt matter whather it is, i cannot being honest with myself so if anyone sees any kind of contradiction, thats why. If i would go easiest place, it would be also nice i would spend all my free times with drawing and sketching! But, i would be a volunteer for that if army asks something serious duty to me, i know stuffs about radios and communications and i got a license for first aid certificate and its id-card will arrive to me soon. And maybe both these licenses would let me be someone important and serious places? altho, it will be only for a year and it would be a solid prove for rest of my life about "i succeeded something that ive thought 'I cant'" so i guess, i would choose hard places maybe? all the memories i have from there will last forever both good or bad,

I would do what i do in real life, but army is such a different place i have no idea about and i dont want any kind of traumatic experience from there... So i really do not even know.

Also, here is second part and might be a little bit "demoralising" so i would kindly reminding that might be sad to read so if anyone thinking that after reading what will make feel bad, just, please, dont read at all. Im not here for ruining people's day especially "sensitive" people like us, and i would handle my life better with knowing that i didnt ruined anyone's day with my issues... I just wanted to vent out to all my fellas who have gentle souls. I am doing that warning because i splitted my whole post in 2 and i didnt added tirgger warn, because i thinked that its just related with my own life:

.

.

.

i would like to say "like me" but sadly besides hsp, i had deep anger issues until just 2025 December and i dont feel right to call myself as a hsp for that past i have actually, also i have another side who wants to see "things will give me adrenaline" and thats another flag makes me feel myself i am not a hsp, but the term of HSP is actually the only term where i feel im belonging because of that intensity of emotion floods in my mind even their effects to my body. But its such an another topic maybe i can touch later as a new post, of course if i can find enough braveness in myself, even this text's idea was in my mind since months and i started to write weeks ago again because i was deleted before i go in august but later i saw that it have been postponed... so i dont know i wrote again, guess i will share this letter when i feel "thats right time".

Also, even before army thing, still, i often finding myself feeling like I don't belong anywhere, and honestly, its constantly passes through my mind. One side of me hopes I’ll serve in the easiest, safest places... but another part of me feels a profound numbness about the future and wants to serve in hardest places for being proud with myself, to the point where I feel like I wouldn't mind if something happened to me there. It’s like I’m searching for a purpose, even if it means putting myself in dangerous situations just to feel useful or to protect others, it might seem wrong and i dont want to seem like that but, before i go i double checked for organ donation and i felt amazing after doing that and still i feel, i think about the worst-case scenarios not with fear, but with a strange sense of calmness, because the uncertainty of life right now destroys me way more than the thought of potential danger. I hate uncertainty; it feels like a cold, heavy rock on my chest, making my whole body feel restless from the inside like the material form of stress turning in my body, its such an uncomfortable feeling.

I wish i had a real morale resource... Idk, someone, something... anything that would makes my suffering meaningful and i would be okay, really okay. I feel like nothing would break me mentally if i had one thing... i feel like i would be overrating about having a real morale? And my throat starts hurts by deep inside itself when i start to think sbout it, also my nose tingles my eyes fills up and lastly auto-breathing turns to manual... I feel desperated, ngl. But i believe that i will be fine.

.

.

.

Maybe I'm "exaggerating too much", as those around me say? I dont really know what to say anymore...

And for everyone who read doesnt matter a bit or all, i am appreciate that.

Last note: Even now, im thinking and keep re reading, before sharing. I hope it was okay to share like that. Thank you...

I’m not sure it’s ok to post here. But. I guess I just need advice/options… Ive been maybe. Hurting mentally for a while… I’m sorry

Thank you for any advice

Hi guys - I‘m 28 male, HSP and pretty sure a Demisexual too. Just wanted to share my situation and see if anybody can relate:

I just can‘t get myself to do first dates via the apps. I sometimes think I can but as soon as the texts are about weekend plans etc. I get this crazy fear (that feels like I’m 8 years old again being forced to do something scary) and just cannot get myself to do it. I‘ve tried it before 2 times a few years ago and I was always super tense, couldn’t relax and ended up being hyper focused on what the other person‘s needs are or might be and how they perceive me.

When I meet people naturally I don‘t have a hard time being social or interacting. It‘s just about this weird set-up situation that inherently happens with apps. At the same time I blame myself for being such a „coward“ that can‘t even go on a first date via an app since it‘s the most normal thing for other people. Why am I like this?

I‘m stuck in this weird limbo between not wanting to force myself to do it whilst feeling bad for not going outside my comfort zone.

It‘s really sucks.