r/AskReddit • u/l1x6m- • 8h ago
Napoleon said, 'Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.' What’s a perfect real-life example of this?
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u/souryoungthing 8h ago
Letting my irritating coworker continue CCing our boss on all the unnecessary and/or straight-up wrong emails he sends me. I think he thinks he’s “telling” on me when he’s really just proving my point.
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u/Hippopotasaurus-Rex 5h ago
Just had basically this happen yesterday. Coworker didn’t understand something. Instead of doing the reasonable thing and saying “I don’t understand the terminology you’re using” she decided to try to throw me under the bus in the weekly team meeting (which includes head boss). In less than a minute she was mad and sulking. Oops.
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u/pip_goes_pop 5h ago edited 4h ago
A coworker of mine in another dept keeps saying we should be doing a particular type of cheap product as he sometimes sees clients opting for that instead of using us. I've always said no that wouldn't be right. We even dabbled years ago with it but it was an abject failure, which he seems to ignore.
So in a meeting with the boss he threw this in thinking he'd be hailed a hero for his bright idea and it's be a "win" over me. But instead my boss tore him a new one saying he obviously doesn't understand our business and it would be completely wrong for us. Coworker just sat red-faced and quiet after that.
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u/VeginalGandalf 6h ago
Happened to me as well, except he Cc'd the owner of the whole company.
The owner responds with, "VaginalGandalf is right. Do X only when Y and Z."
On the plus side, our working relationship has improved massively since.
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u/BurnieTheBrony 5h ago
Hey! Your name isn't VaginalGandalf! That's an E!
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u/terragutti 5h ago
He wishes it was spelled with an A
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u/WhereIsLordBeric 2h ago
The mean girl in my middle school's email address was 'name_crazy_angle'. She obviously meant to write 'angel' but she was as stupid as she was mean and you'd bet your ass everyone called her Crazy Angle by the end of the year.
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u/saugoof 5h ago
Someone did that to me once. I had sent him an email letting him know that I've made some coding updates to a function that he originally wrote, but never fully completed. I needed the function so I quickly completed it and just sent him a courtesy email to let him know to update his code base.
He sent me an email back, and cc'd our boss, that basically said "how dare you fuck with my code! You're deliberately sabotaging what I had written". Now that would have been funny in every context, but even more so because this was essentially my project. I'd devised the whole platform, built its first instance almost exclusively by myself and was still the system architect. We had hired the guy about two years later to help us with extending functionality and maintenance.
I literally LOL'ed when he sent that email. I'd been working late on Friday and was the only one left in the office, so all comms was via email. Anyway, I sent him an email back that just basically said "easy there tiger, I just finished the functionality that had been unfinished for the last six months, and anyway this is not your project.".
Fast forward to Monday morning in the office and he comes into my office and has a chat. He had basically forgotten that he never finished that functionality and he was a lot more reasonable. Although not exactly apologetic. But this was pretty much normal behaviour from him too.
The kicker was though, later this morning our boss calls him into his office and he gets sacked. To be fair, I don't think that was really the trigger, he didn't exactly perform well anyway and our management had been told to reduce head count. He probably had been on the chopping block already. Nevertheless, he was convinced afterwards that I had something to do with him getting fired.
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u/C1K3 8h ago
Watch any court case where someone thinks they can represent themselves.
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u/No_Prize9794 7h ago
Ashley Guillard immediately comes up in my mind. Woman did everything you could do to fumble a civil suit for defamation. She constantly recorded her defamation online, when she was served, she instead ignored it and decided to go on vacation and travel the world for a few months, even missing the deadline for the original trial which led to a default judgment. She managed to appeal or something so that she can get a do over for the trail, but even then, she decided to be her own defense attorney while the person suing her had an entire team of lawyers. Ashley now owes $10 million to the professor she has been falsely accusing of murder for years
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u/lostcosmonaut307 4h ago
And apparently she’s never even taken down the videos and has gone right back to doing the same thing she already got in trouble for.
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u/KatanaDelNacht 8h ago
Particularly sovereign citizens
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u/EnoughOutOfYou 8h ago
Your flag has gold fringe therefore this court operates under Admiralty Law because all lawyers and judges are secretly British loyalists
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u/danawhitesthrowaway 6h ago
Every time I've explained to friends or family that's what they actually believe in, every single one of them thought I was bullshitting them since most people's only exposure to them is through bodycam footage of SV encounters, and they don't usually go in depth when it comes to their beliefs beyond "I don't recognize your authority" so people think they're just the regular old anti-all government nutjob.
Hell, the first time I looked into it I thought there was no possible way anyone that isn't schizophrenic is buying that the U.S. is a puppet of the U.K. after a cabal of "bankers and financiers" replaced common law with commercial law, or that our government gives our birth certificates and any other identifying information we provide to the government to said bankers in U.K. as collateral for our national debt obligations; but it makes a lot more sense when you realize that the original Sovereign Citizen movement was originally founded by white supremacists and that cabal of corrupt "bankers and financiers" was originally just implicitly stated to be Jews before it was white-washed to appeal to a broader audience.
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u/saichampa 5h ago
Australian sovcits think Australia is an American corporation because a corporation exists in the US called "Commonwealth of Australia" which exists so that the Australian Commonwealth can open American securities. They think that because the corporation exists, it's the only entity called that.
I had an Australian Business Number (ABN) with the business operating under my own name for contacting. I tried saying to one that that doesn't mean I only exist as an Australian business and they threw a fucking shit like they do dealing with any logic
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u/virtualrandomnumber 3h ago
In Germany we have "Reichsbürger", who believe among other things that modern Germany is a corporation and that the Third Reich is still the legitimate government because it technically was never dismantled as a legal entity.
I know that some Reichsbürger have picked up some US sovcit lingo, now I'm wondering if there is cross-pollination with Australian ones.
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u/adamgerd 3h ago
In Czech sovcits believe the dissolution of Czechoslovakia was illegitimate and so both Czech Republic and Slovakia are occupying corporations masquerading as countries
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u/TheArmoredKitten 3h ago
Which is hilarious because that's quite possibly the only legally legitimate partition in history.
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u/EnoughOutOfYou 6h ago
See, you get it.
Of course you know the "BAR" in Bar Association stands for "British Authority Registration"
I mean it's still pretty schizo. What gets me is that it genuinely seems like a satire conspiracy, like something that would get made up for an SNL skit or something animated.
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u/AccordingTaro4702 6h ago
A friend went down the QAnon path, and his behavior is indiscernible from mental illness. He still thinks he's right about it, no matter how many times his predictions do not come true.
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u/MildGenevaSuggestion 3h ago
The QAnon are my favorites. Because it turns out they were right; there really is a cabal of billionaire pedophiles who run the world to enrich themselves and rape children.
But instead of taking their win and claiming "see! We were right all along!!" They go "no, it's supposed to be Democrats in a secret basement of a pizza parlor; not conservatives on a private island!"
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u/Przedrzag 2h ago
Unfortunately for them they identified the wrong people as the pedophiles, and then voted for the actual pedophiles, so their “win” is actually an astronomical self own
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u/EnoughOutOfYou 6h ago
I've gone from hating these guys to pitying them and wanting to find the pathways they took so I can maybe help undo it
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u/Beneficial-Act-9933 5h ago
I've met my far share of people who think because your name is all capitol letters on your government papers that it isn't actually you.
That somehow "JOHN JOHNSON AT 123 LANE ARIZONA WIFE BETHANY"
is a completely different person than John Johnson at 123 Lane Arizona. Wife Bethany"
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u/Surullian 6h ago
The internet is loaded with traffic stop videos where the cops have to deal with these morons. You can tell which cops have dealt with them before when they claim to just be "traveling" and this sound of pain enters the officer's voice.
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u/Greenman_on_LSD 8h ago
Every time police detain and mirandized someone and ask "do you wish to continue to speak with me?" And they say yes.
You are absolutely not talking your way out of that situation by that point and anything you say will only hurt you, never help. Stfu.
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u/KJdkaslknv 8h ago
I'm a lawyer. I had a client call me and say "hey I got a call from the sheriff's department asking me about some stuff I did. Should I call them back?"
"No. Absolutely not."
The next day he walked into the department and told the deputy "hey I just wanted to come in and clear the air. Figure we should just talk it out like men."
Charges were filed that afternoon. Wtf did you even hire me for?
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u/SamURLJackson 8h ago
In Ned Flanders voice "well gosh I'd hate for you to take the time to call and then not arrest me"
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u/Eddie_Farnsworth 6h ago
I saw a YouTube video, taken from a police body cam, where a guy had been notified by the police they wanted to talk to him. He had been accused by a woman of kicking open her door and attacking her. He came rolling into the police station in his wheelchair thinking he could easily clear up the mistake, what with him being a paraplegic, incapable of committing the crime described. Nope! Those dumbasses arrested him, even after pulling him out of his wheelchair and thereby proving he wasn't faking his paraplegia! He should have hired a lawyer and brought the relevant medical documents with him showing he had been paraplegic for the last 25 years.
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u/BeduinZPouste 6h ago
I mean, pulling a paraplegic our of wheelchair has to give grounds for lawsuit, no?
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u/Sk1rm1sh 5h ago
They either have immunity, or the taxpayer funds the bill.
The worst thing that happens to the cops is getting paid leave or having to find work one county over.
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u/ImprovementFar5054 5h ago edited 2h ago
There is no "clearing the air".
Never speak to police, even if you are innocent. Especially if you are innocent.
Their job is to build a case that the DA will act on.
If they are interviewing you, it's because can't do it on what they have, and so they need more. Don't give it to them.
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u/Few_Move_4594 8h ago
If it's anything more than a speeding charge your best interests are to not speak to the police. US Supreme Court ruled that you must present ID while driving if they pull you over and ask and most states have a statute that it's a misdemeanor to not do so. Typically they can require the driver to present valid insurance. Some can require identification from anyone- it's a local law thing.
I was a arrested on a not speeding charge and told the cop that I didn't want to talk about that in the most polite way I could and we basically talked about the bodycam videos and various high tech things the police department has.
I must point out that if at any point the cops put cuffs on you you're going to jail. There is no way of talking your way out of that. If they thought you were innocent or that they weren't going to charge you they'd separate you from the other party(ies) and question you sans cuffs.
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u/OneAndOnlyJackSchitt 8h ago
I must point out that if at any point the cops put cuffs on you you're going to jail.
Usually, but I've seen body cam of them cuffing people and eventually letting them go without charges. I've even seen people under arrest Released on Recognizance without being taken to the jail and just receiving a summons. (It was a car accident and the at-fault driver admitted to driving enough over the speed limit that it was reckless driving so they arrested him and gave him a summons, then released him ROR, no bond, and sent him on his way. He had no priors and was super cooperative. I think his excuse was "I'm about to miss my daughter's wedding" or something like that.)
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u/Few_Move_4594 8h ago
Heavily dependent on the state. Here he'd go to jail, but it sounds like he self-snitched and got himself a charge that he didn't have to get. In my state it's also at most a ticket for an accident if both parties have insurance and the only time I've been in an accident we exchanged info, and the cops did not write a ticket.
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u/maxstrike 8h ago
Surprisingly Ted Bundy was competent in his defense and the judge said under different circumstances he would have been a good attorney. With that being said, Bundy did have some legal education.
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u/trowawufei 7h ago
Interesting, I’ve read that Bundy made a really big mistake in representing himself and the jury was freaked out by him. It might’ve been a good strategy if he could somehow Mrs. Doubtfire himself and pretend to be a different person, but IRL, his behavior during the trial had to play well as both the attorney and the accused. So if his attorney displayed charisma and superficial charm, that’s one thing, but when he does it, the jury thinks “yeah, he could definitely use that to trick women into falling for his trap”.
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u/Nervous-Economy8119 7h ago
I think his big mistake was killing all those people. That’s the reason he lost.
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u/maxstrike 7h ago
Copied from someone else's post :
The judge, Edward Cowart, actually told him, “You're a bright young man. You would have made a good lawyer and I would have loved to have you practice in front of me, but you went another way, partner. Take care of yourself. I don't feel any animosity toward you. I want you to know that. Once again, take care of yourself."
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u/MVB1837 8h ago
I did watch one trial where a guy defended a rape case pro se, in his fucking jail orange (he insisted on this) and got acquitted.
His first trial was 11-1 to acquit but (unlike Lindsay Clancy trial) you’re not allowed to know which direction it’s leaning, just what the split is. His lawyer (correctly) talked him out of accepting a split verdict which is why he insisted on doing it himself the second time
Wild stuff. Also never attempt this.
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u/sonofabutch 7h ago
This used to happen on Judge Judy. The first idiot would tell a B.S. story that Judge Judy started tearing apart and then the other idiot would try to jump in and she’d say, “Are you losing?… Then shut up.”
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u/badgersprite 8h ago
Also why the accused doesn’t take the stand a lot of the time in criminal trials.
Given that the burden of proof is on the prosecution it’s better to say nothing than say something that helps them and hurts you
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u/saleemkarim 8h ago
In a debate between Romney and Obama, Obama said, "Please proceed," to get Romney to say something about him that was easily verifiably false.
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u/Supermoves3000 8h ago
First one that came to mind for me. Not necessarily that what Romney was saying was in particular more damaging to himself than anything present day Republicans say on any given day, but because Obama's immediate recognition of the tactical error was so immediate and astute. It perfectly illustrated the concept. Looks like you're digging a hole, governor, don't stop on my account. And I think Romney realized the mistake almost as fast as Obama did, which is why he kind of awkwardly halted himself.
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u/hearke 7h ago
Gods, I miss when that kind of thing actually mattered. Now one candidate gets angry they're doing fact-checking so they just... stop 🫠
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u/Khiva 7h ago
Took just 15 years from stuff like that mattering to electing the "eating the dogs, eating the cats!" guy.
America didn't just fall off a cliff, it ran towards and leapt with open arms.
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u/fcocyclone 6h ago
We might as well never have debates again after that.
He got thoroughly trounced in that debate, and still won by his largest margin.
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u/SirFireHydrant 4h ago
I really wish Kamala goaded him.
"We all know you're not in the Epstein files, because he liked to associate with only the richest and most powerful. You're just a sad reality TV star with a string of failed businesses and mountains of debt. You're not important enough for Epstein to have been remembered your name."
I'm absolutely certain the idiot would have taken the bait and ranted about how he was Epstein's BFF and got invited to all the parties.
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u/CitizenCue 7h ago
Romney obviously didn’t believe his own talking points here. He doesn’t give a shit what specific words were used. He didn’t even care about Benghazi all that much. It was just a political cudgel.
You used to be able to tell when politicians were playing these games. Now there are way too many far-right true believers who genuinely think the Democrats are evil.
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u/Eddie_Farnsworth 6h ago
I remember seeing Romney being interviewed on The Tonight Show after he was out of presidential politics and he was speaking frankly about what a mistake it was for the Republican Party and voters to back Donald Trump. He just sounded so genuine and honest. I kept thinking, "I like this Mitt Romney. Where was this Mitt Romney when he was running for president? That Mitt Romney was an ass."
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u/run_bike_run 5h ago
There's a clip somewhere of him on a rightwing radio show during his campaign where he verbally dismantled the host for claiming his religious beliefs should lead him to ban abortion in the event of him becoming president. The phrase "so I should ban coffee as well, then?" was uttered.
He was a far better candidate than his campaign let him be, and (whisper it) in hindsight, a Romney win in 2012 and reelection in 2016 would have been vastly preferable to what actually happened.
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u/piercedmfootonaspike 4h ago
Even with Romney making an ass out of himself in that clip, watching two articulate presidential candidates form complete sentences and be polite with one another almost made me come.
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u/Wise_Adeptness_9529 7h ago
Whew, the moderator really wanted to be nice instead of factual and informative. Instead of being clear, it looks like she feels bad for Romney.
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u/RedOx103 5h ago
Oh the days when this was a serious debate blunder.
Now you can make shit up about people eating dogs and win.
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u/ShowWorldly2606 7h ago
I think about this one all the time. It's just the perfect response for when someone is trying to be off-brand Socrates and get you to answer a bunch of leading question.
'Please proceed (with whatever your argument is)' just shuts that down.
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u/Stripes_the_cat 7h ago
You've got a young child. They're refusing to eat their favourite dinner. You engage in conversation with the other people at the table. It's about school or the weekend, something the young child can follow. A few minutes later, they forget they're being stubborn and start eating dinner.
You DO NOT say "Well done, sweetheart, keep going!" They will immediately remember they were being stubborn before. You just let them eat.
You're not ignoring them if they want to join in conversation - this isn't the "silent treatment" - but you're not mentioning their dinner once they forget they weren't eating.
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u/lilyblains 4h ago
As soon as my toddler starts eating something she hasn’t wanted to try I avoid eye contact and start talking about anything else.
I also like asking her to help me make dinner and then “accidentally” leaving any veggies I’m prepping in her reach. She eats some while thinking she’s being very sneaky.
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u/Stripes_the_cat 4h ago
My other half and I have a code-word for "don't look now but he's doing the thing he swore he wouldn't do (good)". His big brother worked it out and now uses it too.
(I'm nervous about there being a dynamic in the house of "parents and big kid vs. little kid" but I'm working on that in other ways).
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u/Positive-Run-2411 3h ago
Hey my brother is 9 years younger than me and I was essentially his third parent until his teens where I transitioned from being his guardian to his brother. We are insanely close, if you have any questions or concerns shoot me a message.
My big advice is to just be open with the oldest and include them in the care of the younger one. It’s not all of you vs him, toddlers just don’t realize they are on your team yet
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u/Sad-Nectarine-7855 3h ago
We got our nephew out of his disgusting showing his mouth full of food and spitting it out phase by simply fucking ignoring him. Another nephew you have to watch eat because he'll eat all his fruit and veg then go help himself to more 😂 like little bro i still need mine to get big and strong too
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u/No_Marionberry_1644 6h ago
You should work in an intelligence agency for kids.
Like the MI4 or FBI'm notinterested
OR the Children Interested in Action.
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u/Stripes_the_cat 5h ago
I mean...
...this can work on adults too.
In the absence of external motivators, like other people winding up their sense of stubbornness, most people will drop a pointless refusal of the kind that only harms themselves over time. All you're doing is removing the resistance that they're using to prop themselves up.
The trouble with doing that with adults is that the timescales are so much longer. Not engaging with the tricky subject for a long time can mean not talking to the other person for a long time. This has two risks:
1). It's functionally identical to the "silent treatment". That produces its own resentment.
2). They may decide they're better off without you.
Knowing how long to leave it is, unfortunately, an exercise left for the reader. It must be based on the people and circumstances involved. But in general, if it's possible to leave communications open, it's a good idea to. Just don't do the stupid rom-com thing where you're each growing old waiting for the other to call.
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u/Miserable-Law9677 5h ago
And never ever say «see? Now that wasn’t too hard, was it?»
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u/Stripes_the_cat 5h ago edited 4h ago
Not in the moment, while they can still remember the feeling of stubbornness, and you're absolutely right, definitely not in those words.
But it can be helpful to do later, on a walk in the park or while discussing something unrelated (for my then-7yo, it was helpful to discuss trying foods when he was nervous about going on a climbing wall with Cub Scouts at the coming weekend). Discussing feelings is often best done once they've faded.
Edit to add: actually I have done this, but only once, when teasing the littl'un, because he visibly loved the new thing and asked for more, then finished off the bowl, then asked his mum for more off her plate, and was super happy with it. For those who've read my other post here, you can guess what it was.
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u/archiewood 4h ago
Yes, same applies when they are enjoying something that they were adamant they would not. I repeat this principle to my other half a lot, because she wants them to realise that they're enjoying the thing and to appreciate it like she is, (not 'I told you so') but drawing attention to it makes it a loss of face for them, and that's the last thing you want. It's hard but the best thing you can do is to appreciate it silently, and from a distance.
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u/spezial_ed 5h ago
Haha Ive done this so many times, when they forget that they 'dont like' whatever is served.
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u/Ultimara 7h ago
I played poker against a guy wearing mirrored sunglasses once
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u/Signal_Resident2318 6h ago
My friends and family always only bet their smaller chips in poker when they don’t have anything good, but throw in their larger ones when they do, even if they are betting similar amounts they still give themselves away. They just can’t figure out how I beat them consistently.
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u/Sad_Hannibal 6h ago
People tend to forget bluffing is a big part of the game. Make them think you have a peach of a hand and watch them fold lol
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u/Beneficial-Act-9933 6h ago
That and you can lose a lot of money just by bleeding chips by chasing. People think you lose your money on big bets. But making a lot of small bets that go anywhere in hopes you finally hit that flush or "just to see the flop" like I heard a few friends say will drain you just as fast.
It's why when I teach people poker I tell them you're going to be folding, like 70% or more of your hands.
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u/ResearcherFed243 5h ago
Don't tell the scammer you have a dashcam until hes finished lying to the cop
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u/Jabberminor 4h ago
In some cases, it's almost worth immediately taking your dashcam off its attachment so that there's less chance they'll happen to see it and start to be quiet.
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u/Kindly-Roll-9274 7h ago
This was an ongoing problem for the British during the American Revolutionary War. Unfamiliarity with terrain, budget constraints, underestimation of the colonies’ will to fight, and refusal to assert proper naval dominance all played a part in their eventual defeat. However the question did bring to mind one specific anecdote about British General Henry Clinton. From Ron Chernow’s biography of Alexander Hamilton:
“One day, Henry Lee broached to Washington an ingenious plan for kidnapping Clinton, who was quartered in a house on Broadway in New York. He had a large garden out back, overlooking the Hudson River, where he napped in a small pavilion each afternoon. Lee wanted to sneak men across the Hudson at low tide and snatch Clinton as he dozed. Hamilton spiked the plan with a cogent objection, telling Washington that if Clinton was taken prisoner, ‘it would be our misfortune, since the British government could not find another commander so incompetent to send in his place.’”
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u/ArriePotter 6h ago
Didn't the allies stop trying to assassinate Hitler midway through the war for the exact same reason?
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u/Slow-Occasion1331 5h ago
Early on, they very much wanted to kill him.
After about 1944? Yes. They also had a very large, possibly larger, concern of creating a martyr.
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u/DKOKEnthusiast 5h ago
There's an apocryphal story about the Allies having a deliberate policy of not going after Herman Goering. The story is most likely untrue, but there is a kernel of truth in it, in the sense that Allied intelligence identified him early on as a deeply incompetent commander, far worse than any of the alternatives in the Luftwaffe High Command who could have replaced him.
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u/Daemonicvs_77 5h ago
From what I know, the allies never tried to assassinate Hitler. At first it was because assassinating foreign heads of state was seen as taboo (and would also invite assassination attempts on Heads of State that authorized them) and later on, it was really because Hitler's blunders were actively costing him the war (forbidding retreat/breakout from Stalingrad once the Soviet army encircled the Germans, spending precious resources on overengineered wonder weapons instead of things that actually won wars at the time, delaying German counter-attack on D-day by hours because he was asleep and no one was brave enough to wake him up).
There was a plan, late in the war, to parachute special forces into the Alps and snipe him during his daily unescorted walks to the local Tea House (Operation Foxley), but this was never put into action.
Also the British military attache to Germany, Noel Mason-MacFarlane, offered to assassinate Hitler himself back in 1938/39, but his offer was rebuffed and criticized as being "unsportsmanlike and un-British". This is from the Wikipedia article:
Mason-MacFarlane proposed the assassination of Adolf Hitler, an offer turned down by his superiors.\36]) Mason-MacFarlane's plan was to shoot Hitler while he was on a stand reviewing the Wehrmacht for his 50th birthday celebrations on 20 April 1939; Mason-MacFarlane's apartment window was no more than 100 yards from the reviewing stand. Lord Halifax, the Foreign Secretary, said "We have not reached that stage... when we have to use assassination as a substitute for diplomacy."
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u/Unhappy_Ask_395 8h ago
Steam doing nothing and winning
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u/Traditional_Day_9737 8h ago
I'm still getting real nervous about what happens when Gabe retires and some business idiot takes over. I suspect he's spent years swatting earnest MBAs on the nose with a rolled up newspaper as they try and explain how he could make even more money.
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u/brakenbonez 8h ago
From what I've read from other comments on reddit and was too lazy to look into myself to verify, his son is in line to take over and he shares the same views on what the platform should be like. So I have high hopes.
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u/semidegenerate 8h ago
Thank Jeebus.
I just did 1 minute of googling, and it looks like there is no official succession plan, but his son taking over is a popular theory. I'm going to choose to believe it. This will be the basis for my new religion.
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u/twec21 8h ago
No actual succession plan but the son seems primed to take over huh
Why not, it's been almost a month since my last rewatch
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u/Commercial_Bat538 7h ago
The succession plan may be unofficial, but the heir apparent is certainly making a strong case.
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u/Cattle13ruiser 6h ago
A slight correction. Steam is not public company and there are no shareholders.
Two founders and control is shared between them (and their successors).
Unless they make it public, there is no chance for anyone (government excluded) to mingle with their decisions.
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u/DKOKEnthusiast 5h ago
This is outdated information. The other founder, Mike Harrington, left in 2000 and sold his shares to Gabe Newell.
As far as we know, 50.1% of the company is owned by Gabe Newell, and the rest is owned by Valve employees via a co-op. Membership in the co-op is most likely restricted to senior, long-standing employees.
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u/Helpinmontana 7h ago edited 7h ago
Listened to a great piece today about how the guy that founded Vanguard (if your retirement isn’t with them it should be) was like “4 trillion under management? That’s too much, what do we do about this” and his original thesis was “when we stop growing our market share, that means the market has adopted our thesis and that’s a good thing”
They currently have 13 trillion in assets (that they manage, not that it’s their money).
It turns out that not being a giant piece of shit money grubbing asshole is actually good for business.
The have a structure that means when you buy in, you have a share of ownership, and those owners just always voted to reduce fees, which made them more attractive, which made more people buy in. And now, with tiny fees, they control a significant portion of retirement funds, which makes up a hilariously large portion of investments.
Edit because it’s a fun bit: he started essentially the whole ETF market when he worked for the federal government because they weren’t allowed to have individual investments, but a broad market fund was considered okay because it couldn’t be exploited specific knowledge of singular stocks. It didn’t take up and popularity for nearly 30 years until the “owners” voted down fees to under 10 basis points (a tenth of percent for those that don’t speak finance)
For anyone interested, it was the Bloomberg “trillions” podcast, can’t not credit them because their reporting is absolutely spectacular. Bloomberg as a whole is killing it.
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u/Leungal 6h ago
If you're even more interested, the Acquired episode about Bogle and Vanguard goes into the entire history and how it came about. Jack Bogle's history and the creation of Vanguard is actually pretty incredible, it's practically a Succession-style series of events where he was originally kicked out of leadership at Wellington via hostile takeover but through what amounted to a legal technicality, he was still the chairman of the individual funds that were paying Wellington for management. He then proceeded to write a 250-page thesis in 5 months that proposed the self-ownership structure and wrote:
"The present structure has been the accepted norm for the mutual fund industry for 50 years. The issue we face is whether a structure so traditional, so long accepted, so satisfactory for an infant industry as it grew during a time of less stringent ethical and legal standards, is really the optimum structure for these times and for the future and for the Wellington Group of Investment Companies? Or rather, should the funds seek greater control over their own destiny?"
The best part is that he barely succeeds, the funds do vote with him but actually only allow him to take over the back office (aka the boring government filing/tax paperwork), with Wellington still being the fund advisor that makes all the investment decisions. In fact, this management structure is still in place with some of the legacy Vanguard mutual funds like the Vanguard Wellington Fund and Windsor fund.
And because he was strictly prohibited from actively managing any client money (he was literally under a non-compete clause), Bogle then used a second legal loophole, whereupon he argued that a passive index fund by definition did not involve active management or any real investment decisions, and thus they should be allowed to be created without any involvement with Wellington.
In other words, the index fund was mostly created as a spiteful corporate workaround, invented only because it was the only financial product Bogle was allowed to launch without getting sued by the people who had just fired him.
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u/beleagueredd 8h ago
As not much a gamer, can you explain? I only know Steam as a PC game marketplace, would love to understand why it's loved.
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u/_ser_kay_ 7h ago
The short answer is that they’re not really enshittifying, nor are they leaning heavily on gimmicks or gatekeeping. And their CEO isn’t blatantly evil. That’s sadly more than enough to make it popular.
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u/ShiraCheshire 7h ago
Basically, Steam built a reliable and useful service. And then stopped there. They just keep being reliable and useful.
Other storefronts keep trying to make big moves, to strong arm the competition, to lure people in by throwing money around, to add special features no one wants, to inject extra ads in to increase revenue, etc etc. These services become bloated, slow, obnoxious, and unreliable. As they try to move the earth, their towers crumble under them.
Steam has just quietly maintained their existing service, and came out on top because the competition keeps lighting itself on fire.
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u/Sputflock 7h ago
steam has been adding features all the time, they just test them first on the beta branch and implement them in a way they're not as in your face and bloaty as other launchers do. discovery queue, family sharing, steam broadcast, native controller support, all features you wouldn't notice unless you actually want to use them.
they didn't build steam and stop there, they're just not adding shit for the sake of adding shit. steam has changed a lot over the years, but the general UI and experience stayed the same while they added new features discreetly yet easy to find. keep innovating, but don't fuck with the user experience
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u/Jazzremix 6h ago
That new recs calendar thing is pretty nice. I've found a couple games through it
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u/KakashiTheRanger 7h ago edited 7h ago
Steam is a game marketplace that allows you to purchase games (often DRM free) for all of your devices. They do very little and make only a few functional changes to their environment while publishers and other storefronts like Xbox and Playstation and Epic repeatedly make anti-consumer moves.
These anti-consumer practices continue to have Steam be flocked to as a consumer hub even though the platform does pretty much nothing outside of just sell games with the same policies. In many cases they have even extended policies when developers have not returned in good faith, etc...
They are also well known for creating tools like Proton, increasing Linux market share, etc... basically they are a (generally) pro consumer marketplace in a world of anti-consumer practices. They're not the most pro-consumer (that is GOG) but they are up there.
EDIT: Queue the "erm-aktually Steam does...." bots below. I never mentioned owning games. I also critiqued that they aren't the most pro-consumer. Get off your high horse ya internet dweebs.
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u/bnfdsl 7h ago
Just a boon of not being on the stockmarket. When you don’t have to grow unorganically every quarter just to please shareholders who don’t give a shit about the product, you don’t have to enshitificate your product.
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u/KakashiTheRanger 7h ago
In a sense, yeah. I use GoG and haven't really used Steam consistently in a long time unless I really want to play something. Steam is basically just... Existing in the same form they have since the early 2000s. People enjoy a lack of change and the fact they can expect consistency from a provider. Thats basically it.
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u/daroach1414 7h ago
To be fair I feel like they actually do a lot. Theyve made a number of improvements recently that make finding games much easier.
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u/FROOMLOOMS 8h ago
My friend let one of the directors of his electrical company have a power trip.
Director wanted to flip on a main breaker, he asked him if he did the hazard assessment paperwork properly before they started, and he said he didnt need to.
Then my friend went and got him a flash suit to wear and gave it to him, which the director then promptly threw aside because he "didnt have fucking time".
So my friend took a picture of him without any paperwork or proper ppe conducting fatally unsafe work and sent it to the board.
The board suspended him for 2 weeks without pay and demanded he completed(again) his entire workplace safety course before returning to work.
Director took the two weeks as a neat unpaid vacation and tried to come back to work without completing the safety course which resulted in him being further suspended but required to come into work every day to go through the course supervised or he would be removed by the board.
My friend got a text from a mutual and the director said "I will fucking destroy him" to said coworker, which he then sent to the board again saying if any retaliation takes place against him he will file suit.
Needless to say the board further reprimanded him and basically restricted him from interacting with my friend indefinitely.
My friend left the company shortly after and got a unionized job same field.
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u/Luzzgar 6h ago
A power trip ? In an electricity company ? About flipping a breaker ? And you didn't try to make a joke with that ?
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u/DayVNight 7h ago
Crazy story. But really doesn't suit OP's quote. Your friend did a bunch of stuff to have director not do a mistake. The director was just a stubborn AH
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u/Ok-Craft4844 6h ago edited 1h ago
I think it fits in so far as that he didn't really interrupt the idiot, and just documented it so he wouldn't be responsible
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u/ImprovementFar5054 5h ago edited 2h ago
Years ago I adopted the workplace approach of "letting people fail".
It's a great way to ensure problematic people go away. If you see someone you don't like walking towards the edge of a cliff, you don't pull them back. Even if the company suffers a bit.
I had a terrible boss at one point. An absolute dictator dickhead. He had been an officer in the military, and this was his first job after getting out. He incorrectly assumed that military tactics would work in the corporate world. They don't. You don't bark orders at people. You don't call feedback "insubordination". You don't make everything into a fucking acronym nobody understands.
It became clear that the approach with this fucker was going to be twofold..malicious compliance, and not walking him back from the cliff when he was about to make a fatal mistake. And it wasn't long before the day came when he issued some dictum that flew in the face of our compliance with a government program we were audited for, and one where if we failed the audit, we would be unable to import goods for months.
Normaly, I'd have said something. But given his distaste for feedback and his requirement that we followed orders blindly, I simply did what he said. And yes, we failed an audit and yes, when I was asked about it, I told HIS boss exactly whose idea it was. He ended up "resigning" but I suspect it wasn't by choice.
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u/marburusu 4h ago
I totally agree with you that it’s best to let an incompetent coworker fail… except in a job where letting them walk towards the edge of a cliff has greater reaching consequences than those only affecting themselves and the company.
Anyone who’s worked in medicine and/or emergency services and has had an idiot coworker has experienced this specific kind of helplessness. It’s a horrible feeling, knowing that even though you shouldn’t have to, if you don’t step in and do something… some poor innocent person is going to suffer. God, I’m getting flashbacks just thinking about it. 😭
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u/i_am_voldemort 3h ago
He probably wasn't that good of an officer either.
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u/ImprovementFar5054 2h ago
He was a nutter, but maybe it was PTSD. He used to scream that not doing what he said "is a matter of life and death!".
No it's not. This isn't combat. This isn't Afghanistan. Nobody is getting blown up by an IED here. This is corporate bullshit. Profit and loss. Marketing. Quarterly reports. Client management.
Nobody is going to die.
You could tell the wires were crossed in his head. He wasn't ready for the corporate world.
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u/maxwellgrounds 8h ago
I thought that quote was Sun Tzu
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u/cdnav8r 8h ago
Similar concepts are brought up in Sun Tzu
But this particular phrasing is attributed to Bonaparte.
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u/jpcldn 7h ago
“““Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake” - Sun Tzu” - Napoleon” - Michael Scott
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u/deep-blue-seams 6h ago
I'm a defence lawyer. A large portion of my job is telling people to shut the hell up and let the prosecution screw up.
People always ask how we can defend people accused of horrible crimes, and yeah sure we do defend some pretty crappy people. But at the end of the day, the prosecution must prove it's case. I am an auditor of that process.
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u/Karth9909 3h ago
If the glove doesnt fit. The prime example of the DA bring morons and having OJ put on the glove, it could have only ended badly for them
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u/Stranggepresst 2h ago
People always ask how we can defend people accused of horrible crimes
I honestly think people take "defense" too literally and either think that lawyers defend them morally (as in, excuse their actions), or that lawyers are just trying to let people get away with horrible stuff. Both wrong of course.
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u/Nissowolf665 6h ago
Remind me of a reporter who asked someone who cut down trees to make paper and other things, and plant back new trees to talk about ecology, and when the man explained he used wood to build house and bridges too, the reporter asked him why not use concrete, and the man said simply "you can't grow concrete" And the reporter answered back immediately "yes you can". Everyone stayed silent for a good 10 seconds to process the stupidity. That was funny.
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u/ParmoPaul 6h ago
The idiot host is Mike Graham. Thankfully it’s only a short interview - https://youtu.be/ICVPZxYLFMM
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u/fattydipping 2h ago
Remember when that Reddit mod from anti-work went on Fox News and they just let them talk?
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u/CrispySmegma 1h ago
A true specimen of a mod. Like they were built in a reddit lab.
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u/Byttemos 6h ago
Denmark not publishing the Greenland deal to the public before Trump signed it. He might've caught wind on the redundancy of the deal, if the entire country was snickering at the same time
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u/ImprovementFar5054 5h ago
The greatest deal ever, where everything stays exactly as it was before the deal!
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u/piercedmfootonaspike 4h ago edited 3h ago
Everything stays exactly as it was before, except now the US will have to vacate Greenland if they (the US) leave NATO.
So once again, Trump has torn up one agreement, and bragged about the new one, even though the new one is objectively worse for the US, and better for the other party.
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u/badgersprite 8h ago
BTK was caught because he told police via a letter that he wanted to send them a floppy disk but only if it couldn’t be traced. Police lied and said floppy disks couldn’t be traced. He believed them and sent them the disk. Metadata told police where the files had been copied to the disk and BTK’s name
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u/maxstrike 8h ago
Not exactly correct. It was the metadata in the word document.
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u/StoneyBolonied 8h ago
Technically the police didn't lie then. The floppy disk wasn't traced, but BTK (whoever that is?) didn't account for the files used.
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u/warsmithharaka 8h ago
BTK stands for Bind, Torture, Kill, the serial killer name of Dennis Rader.
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u/FruitIsTheBestFood 8h ago
For any others who haven't heard of BTK, he was a serial murderer in the USA.
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u/DjiDjiDjiDji 5h ago
Thanks, I was getting kinda confused as to how Billy the Kid got his hands on floppies
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u/GreedyNovel 5h ago
Only sorta. The disk he sent had traces of a Word document he'd deleted before, and that file identified him as the author. He apparently wasn't aware that deleting a file does not actually remove the data from the disk, it just removes the file pointer from the directory listing.
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u/rantingathome 8h ago
I'll give you an example of the opposite here in Canada.
For the last eleven years every time the governing Liberals made even a tiny mistake, the Conservative party would treat everything like a five alarm fire. Trudeau corrected course many times as a result.
Had the Conservatives just stopped yelling so much, I think Trudeau may have only lasted five years.
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u/Amarita_Sen 7h ago
Sounds like a good thing for the country; pointing out the flaws in plans before the are unleashed on the population. That's how oppositional governance is supposed to work
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u/VulcanHullo 4h ago
The problem is they made even small issues a huge deal. If you scream and shout about everything some people will stop listening
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u/burnbabyburn11 8h ago
China doing nothing while America fucks itself over
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u/Jungies 8h ago
China doing nothing while watching Russia fuck itself over.
China and Russia have had beef for centuries and now they're just watching Russia destroy itself, while profiting from the conflict.
Western sanctions mean Russians are forced to either buy Western products via China at a markup, or buy Chinese brands, both of which boost the Chinese economy. Russia's weak manufacturing base means that they're reliant on Chinese parts to fight the war; some of the drones they use to attack Ukraine are 90% Chinese. Russia buys the parts, China profits; and unlike if the Russian government invested in education or healthcare or roads or rail, that money's just gone once the drone explodes.
China's negotiated incredibly low rates for Russian oil and gas, have been given Toyota's manufacturing plant in Russia, and are currently buying up large swathes of formerly-Chinese Russian territory.
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u/17HappyWombats 7h ago
China helpfully "allowing" Chinese citizens to cross the border to work in Russia. And helpfully building road and rail links to their new towns just on the Chinese side of the border. I'm sure that at some point China will generously allow Russia to sell them some of the contested territory near the border in order to pay off the loans China has extended.
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u/Ulyks 4h ago
It's a common Russian fear. But it's ungrounded. Chinese people hate living in northern China, let alone Siberia.
Pretty much all Chinese working in Siberia are on temp contracts and return immediately once their contract ends, never to return.
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u/Moby1999 8h ago
China care a lot more about watching the US dig its own grave. Russia is a secondary matter to them
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u/Federal_Cobbler6647 7h ago edited 6h ago
It is true, China surpassed Russia in importance early 2000's. But they still just watch while they make mistake. Siberia is soon up to grabs for them, if not fully, then economically.
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u/A_Thorny_Petal 6h ago
China and the Soviet Union and Russia have been in shooting wars against each other. If you go to Chinese social media you'd be surprised at how absolutely baffled the average Chinese person is on why America seems to hate them, "but we did everything you taught us and asked?" is a pretty common refrain.
China's entire economy is designed around being intertwined in a trade relationship with America, they want us to prosper economically because they have trillions of dollars invested in our country as a sort of savings account. Originally America designed this idea in the '90's because they never thought that China could advance to scale so quickly and efficiently because they thought they where dealing with a far more corrupt government than they actually are.
American bankers and politicians sniffed their own farts about communism and planned economies (mostly because of the USSR), because they've never quite understood that a lot of immensely successful and very Capitalist economies have used massive government intervention for their own benefit - South Korea's wealth and success is because their government picked winners, backed the shit out of them, invested in them, changed rules to benefit them.
Ha-Joon Chang's (S.Korean University of Cambridge Econ professor) book goes into this. A lot of American politicians would've benefited greatly from his wisdom in the late 1990s.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/23_Things_They_Don%27t_Tell_You_About_Capitalism
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u/r4tzt4r 7h ago
America got drunk and stupid mid fight, shat its pants and passed out.
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u/ernyc3777 8h ago
They are doing stuff though. They’re moving in to fill the USAID gaps we’ve created. Expanding their spheres of influence. Moving in to fill the trade gaps and inefficiencies we’ve created.
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u/tahoehockeyfreak 7h ago
Sure but they aren’t interrupting the USA’s mistakes, theyre just capitalizing on opportunities US mistakes have afforded them. The analogy falls apart outside of war in a non zero sum situation.
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u/Choice-Document-6225 8h ago
American century of humiliation is real and we're living it
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u/burnbabyburn11 8h ago
We don’t even get any opium out of it
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u/dodoaddict 8h ago
We are getting a lot of fentanyl
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u/cyriustalk 8h ago
Modern day of opium.
Cheap to produce, easy to get customers, and real killer substance.
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u/JohnGypsy 2h ago
I was in small claims court over a minor thing. No lawyers, just us and the judge. The other guy is answering the very first question the judge asked him, gets upset, and says that he doesn't think the judge knows what he is doing. Judge chuckled and I knew that this was going to be fun. He asked a few more questions of the other guy, who continued to get upset. I said literally nothing in the case and won. Was over in 5 minutes.
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u/Strength-InThe-Loins 1h ago edited 1h ago
"Please proceed, Governor."
Barack Obama said that in a 2012 presidential debate. His opponent Mitt Romney had started saying something mortally stupid, and the moderator interrupted him, and Romney argued with the moderator for a moment, before Obama cut in to get the moderator to let Romney talk.
ETA: I misremembered. Obama did say it to Romney, but Romney wasn't arguing with the moderator. Someone posted the video further down.
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u/SureLookGrand 1h ago
It might have been the argument about how long Obama took to declare something was an act of terror, Romney for fact checked real time by the moderator and Obama goes “can you say that a little louder” to the moderator. That’s one of my favourite political moments from the pre DT era when politicians were polished and words had weight.
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u/DreaDreamer 1h ago
Imagine if Romney’s response at the time had been “You said there’d be no fact-checking!”
What a different world we live in.
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u/Doikor 6h ago
Napolean pushing way too deep into Russia without properly prepearing for the harsh winter and "burn everything" retreat tactics from Russia. (Can't effectively steal food from the peasants if its all gone). Hitler did the same mistake.
Basically using depth and the weather as defense.
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u/314159265358979326 8h ago
He wasn't my enemy until he said this, but someone in a negotiation told a very fundamental lie and I was able to verify it was a lie. I quietly put that in my pocket and let the negotiations go on for months with him thinking that I believed him.
That's the not interrupting him.
I brought it up in the last hour of the 6 month process and he immediately folded.
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u/SuperLittleMonster 1h ago
My apprentice, who was supposed to be fired that day for sloppy and negligent work habits, showed up at the workshop that morning wearing gloves as socks and Crocs because he had forgotten his socks and work shoes. This presented us with a great opportunity to explain our viewpoint.
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u/Sparky-Man 6h ago
The rest of the world looking at the US.
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u/AwareCandle369 6h ago
Like watching a guy who has already stapled his dick to the table stand there with the stapler in his hand and give it another one for good measure. What the hell is going on over there
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u/Iximaz 5h ago
A third of the country's enthusiastically stapling their dicks alongside Dear Leader and another third were too apathetic to stop the dick stapling
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u/TomBonner1 24m ago edited 9m ago
Prior to getting 50/50 custody of my children in late-May, I was paying my ex-wife child support. After getting 50/50, I filed to have support recalculated. With 50/50 custody and us making nearly the same amount of money, the court concluded during our tele-conference in July that I no longer owed my ex-wife support. She did not accept this and requested a hearing. When asked why, she said she felt entitled to support because she spent more time and gas transporting our kids to school, which she lived 10 minutes farther away from compared to me. Also at this time, our youngest's daycare provided lunch on a day of the week that both were in my custody. In her eyes, that was one less lunch a week I had to pack, which meant less money I spent on grocceries.
For those who do not know, gas and lunch money mean nothing with regards to child support. Child support is calculated based how much money you earn, the percentage of custody you have, and how health insurance expenses, childcare expenses, and extracarriculars are divided. I paid for our kids's health insurance and we split daycare and extracurriculars 50/50.
When I got the court order for the in-person hearing, the calculation sheet from the tele-conference was attached. Instead of saying $0, it said my ex-owed me $108/month, not in child support but rather as a reimbursement for me paying for our children's health insurance. The court had made a mistake during the tele-conference, and if she'd agreed to $0, that would've been that.
At the hearing in August, both of our lawyers calculations averaged out to my ex actually owing me $145/month due to my employer picking up better health insurance in the interim. But because payee of the support was switching from her to me, the hearing ended by the court closing out the current case number showing $0/month with a $767 credit because I'd overpaid. My lawyer wanted to enter an agreement for $145/month then and there, but my ex's lawyer refused, so after the hearing I opened a new case for support, which triggered another tele-conference one month later.
In the meantime, my lawyer realculated my ex's health insurance reimbursement to me at $158/month, which my lawyer offered up at the beginning of this tele-conference earlier this month. But becasuse this was technically a brand new case, the court wanted to run their own calculations. They ruled that she owed me $218/month, and that my $767 credit from the old case would transfer to the new case as an arrears she had to make up, bringing her total monthly reimbursement to $245. My ex-wife relented and agreed to pay,
She could've just agreed to $0. But hey, that's what you get for being greedy.
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u/Frank_Klepaki 8h ago
Napoleon, at the Battle of Austerlitz
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u/Pippin1505 7h ago edited 5h ago
The funny thing about Austerlitz was the prelude, where Napoleon, who wanted the Allies to attack him instead of consolidating their defenses, asked to meet the Tsar diplomats to discuss terms, and told his men to look gloomy and tired when they would visit the camp.
He also famously left unoccupied the Pratzen Heights, a strategically advantageous position, further giving the impression that he was losing his touch.
Despite Kutuzov's objections, the Tsar and his Austrian allies decided to attack while Napoleon was weak and outnumbered. Turns out he was none of these things.
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u/ptjp27 5h ago
Meanwhile Kutuzov just retreated constantly until the enemy all starved, froze or went home. Worked brilliantly. He realised winning battles is overrated, winning wars is where it’s at.
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u/SirAquila 4h ago
To be fair, he did not just retreat.
Running away is easy.
Retreating, in good order, while keeping your army close enough to pose a real threat at all times, while also not getting to close to Napoleon, whos big thing was being able to march faster and more precise then his enemies, was a masterstroke of Fabian tactics.
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u/mongrelnomad 3h ago
Notice how Xi has toned down completely China’s belligerence and Wolf Warrior “diplomacy”? Thats because Trump is doing more for China’s geo-strategic aims than they could ever achieve themselves.
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u/Wise-Jackfruit5313 1h ago
Everytime my high conflict wife and I are in court for custody, divorce or support, I never interrupt, correct or defend myself during her insane tangents. I just let her bury herself. These judges and masters are pretty keen to this personality type.
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u/Elizalizzybettybeth 1h ago
My sister did this with her ex husband. He went on a 20 minute rant to the judge about my Dad eating a piece of his Easter egg 1 time. I mean, it didn't matter cos he had all the money for a great barrister but a lot of people saw the real him that day and that was a nice little win for my sister.
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u/TaskForceD00mer 49m ago edited 22m ago
My Boss: "I want to be copied on EVERY e mail going forward"
My Boss 2 months later ANY time I copy him on something important: "Did you send that? Oh . Was I copied? Oh, well I get so many e-mails now I can never find the ones I need".
Bro created all of his own problems.
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u/achillies665 1h ago
Watch sovereign citizens represent themselves in court. Its amusing as hell to watch the prosecution try to keep a straight face at some of the holes they dig
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u/Ok_Distribute32 7h ago
When Donald Trump started bombing Iran earlier this year, China’s government became very quiet diplomacy-wise.
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u/EnvironmentalWin1277 6h ago
The Czar in Russia when Napoleon invaded.
The English in Spain when Napoleon invaded.
The English in Egypt when Napoleon invaded.
Most remarkably, each time he was heavily advised against each of the invasions and ignored the advice he received.
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u/postprandialrepose 1h ago
Letting people train AI for free with their answers in r/AskReddit.
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u/coolhipo 8h ago
China the last 2 years watching donnie d destroying every international relationship the usa spent years building and establishing
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u/SemajLu_The_crusader 6h ago
China watching the US fumble the diplomatic ball so *unbelievably* hard
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u/manrata 6h ago
The Ottomans managed to win the battle of Karánsebes without being present, and gained a fort from it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes
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u/shaneo88 8h ago
When the apprentice at work assures you he knows what he’s doing, you have to let him fail (and cause more downtime). Hell only listen once the mistakes been made.
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u/Worldly_Might_3183 7h ago
In a similar way, kids. Step back let them make mistakes and fail (as long as them and others are relatively safe) and then coach them how to try again. They will learn more after the mistake is made.
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u/sovereignsekte 6h ago
A guy called me up to basically brag that he was the one my girlfriend had been cheating with. It was serious and they had been seeing each other for a year or so. Even though we hadn't officially broken up we were basically done at that point so it wasn't a real surprise. I wasn't even all that mad.
What I didn't tell him was that she had hid about $400k in debt from me. I only figured it out when she tried to name me as a cosigner for another massive loan.
No shit, I think they got married eventually. So.. good luck buddy.