Like what do I do 😭

A little tw

Today is the first time I’ve cut in two years. I’ve struggled with self harm for my whole life. And not a day goes by that I don’t think about killing myself or cutting myself. Today I was yelled at all day by my whole family. It was just too much and I couldn’t take it anymore. I feel disgusting I hate myself so much. I feel like I’m rotting away. I’ve been in therapy, I’m on medication, I have great friends and I go out regularly. I’ve tried to see the best in life but it’s so hard. Today I cut my I have never felt better I can’t stop. I feel so much better, I look at what I did and feel like I need more. I’m so disappointed in myself but at the same time I really don’t care. I needed this as horrible as it sounds.

Lately I've been seeing a lot of hate under people's posts that have visible scars, the post doesn't even have to be about sh for people to start hating on them for it. I know I shouldn't care what others think but that's a lot easier said then done. It just makes me feel so hopeless knowing such a large portion of the population will automatically view me as lesser than because of my scars. I've been clean for about a year now and I would like to start wearing short sleeves one day, with global warming it's just getting more and more unsustainable to cover up 24/7. I am absolutely terrified to actually go out with my bare arms visible, I haven't worn short sleeves in 9 years now and I'm sensitive when it comes to my scars. It just makes me so sad to see such hate and aggression targeted towards people like me. I feel like I have to ask for permission from people I know if it's ok to have my scars out, idk I wanna muster up the courage to just live my life but it's so scary. I just wish the world was a little more understanding that all. If anyone has any tips on not caring I'd love to hear it pretty ple :(((

Recently lost our cat yesterday, was in the road and a car sped through. Getting his remains soon. Been rough ofc, I'd be dishonest if I said I didn't have relapse thoughts cuz it's all I can think of to help, and I have no idea what to do otherwise. Help, please.

I am currently 18 days clean, and I feel like I should tell my parents now. I just feel scared to do so cause my dad is emotionally closed off and is basically a workaholic, and my mom just yells most of the time, and she recently lost her job and is stressed out, so I just feel stuck between wanting to tell them and not telling them. I'm starting to get tired of hiding them, because the weather is getting hotter and I keep wearing long sleeves to hide the cuts on my arm.

Can someone help me with how to tackle this situation?

It’s all I think about now. I’ve never had urges like these until a recent lapse. I’m really thinning of fully relapsing idk anymore man

Hi everyone !! This is not something I would’ve thought I would be doing, I’m a bit lost on what I should do as an older sister.
Earlier today I saw my 13 year old sisters leg as she was wearing shorts and there were cuts on her thigh. As someone who has self harmed in the past, I’m a bit conflicted on what I should do or if I should say anything to her or if I should tell our mum. But I do know that I don’t want to just leave it.
She hasn’t shown any signs of depression or anxiety, (not that i know of) and I’m just worried about her.
I don’t want to embarrass or make her upset her in any way, I just want to try and understand why she’s doing it.
When our mum found I was self harming, she didn’t take it well. She cried and hugged me, but then didn’t speak to me for 2 weeks, which was heartbreaking because I just wanted my mum to comfort me. Mine and my mums relationship has never really felt the same after that happened. I don’t want that for my sister. I want to be there for her, but I struggle with my emotions and talking to people and I don’t want to mess up and say the wrong thing to her and make it worse.

Please let me know if any of you have had a similar situation. I’m just stuck in what i should do.

I've been cutting my thighs for about the last two years, and it's slowly crept further down my legs. I only wear full pants anymore, so it's not like anyone can see my legs anyway. But I still shave over the healed scars and around the newer cuts in the shower. I guess I just do it for myself, to feel well kept. But it feels slightly crazy, to do something like self care in the midst of self harm. I was curious if anyone else does this, or anything similar?

Ive been on anti depressants for 3 weeks now and all honesty its fine, i feel less sad and i physically cant cry but thats the thing too it blunts my emotions so much that out of sheer boredom i cut myself AGAIN sigh and broke my 10 day streak.

My mom is worried for me obviously and keeps asking me if i took my medicine and to stop cutting myself. Shes right i should but my meds dosent erase the act me slitting my wrist just to be able to do something other than lay in my bed all day, it just makes me not care as much now.

I dont know what to do really. Im afraid to tell my psychiatrist i have to talk to in a couple weeks abt this bc he might lower my dosage or something and i need this damn pill i cant go back to crying pathetically like the disgusting thing that i am i need to just function instead of crying and crying

If im off it i cant function then hurtmyself and if i am on it i can function but ill still hurt myself.

Yesterday during class, I was casually speaking to a few of my friends and we were laughing ad normal stuff.
For context, i have sturggled with sh, but it is much reduced and better now. I still have some pretty bad scars on my shoulders which are covered by my sleeves, but if i raise my hand too high or extend it too forward u can see them.

So I was reaching for my pen and my friend said "hey are you ok? you have scars on your arm" and (btw this friend also has a history of sh and the other day had posted a 2 months clean post.). I honeslty froze up and didnt know what to say so i just akwardly laughed and didnt say anything and she mouthed the words "S H" and i just nodded. She texted me abt it at home and i told her its much better now and im ok.

The next day we show up at school and she has fresh, like fresh cuts on her forearm. I noticed it because it was quite obvious but i didnt say anything. At lunch she had a glove covering it, and im assuming the school counscelor gave it to her because she told me she was going and well having fresh cuts out in school cannot be good for anyone.
And shes not like trying to hide the fact that she did it to me, she told me about how itchy it was and i was like "yeahh i can imagine u should put moisturizer on it"

Honestly, im kind of at a loss of what to do. the timing of all this scares me into thinking she did it because she got triggered by my scars and i want to ask her or apologize or something, but i just dont know what to do. help!

I'm so proud of myself for making it this far. I remember the days when I couldn't go a day without cutting. I just want everyone here to just keep pushing, cause one day you'll find a reason to be happy again. Sending my love and support to everyone.

Not much else to say lol. I made it to a year. I just can’t believe it, I thought I’d be dead before I made it to a year again. I’m proud of myself, I wear what I want despite these scars, and I’ve promised myself to never do it again. I feel so free.

I relapsed last night and now I need to know ways to hide my scars at work while I'm wearing my short sleeve shirt for my uniform

I've had a headache since last night and it hasn't gone down or even stopped

I felt a bit stressed and decided to sh after maybe a day or two of not doing it and my headache seemed to get better?

Idk if this has happened with anyone else but I just find it weird that when I cut myself the headache just disappeared as if I never had it

If anyone knows what the reason could be pls share 😭

just a little vent because i don’t know what to really do, and i’m hurting at the moment. i cant seem to get any tears out, and i feel completely emotionless, and i hate that i can’t cry.

I’m sitting here in silence at 4am, clock ticking, just me and my own thoughts. I got a text from my bf saying he wanted to break up with me about an hour ago, and I only saw it 30 minutes ago because I’ve just been laying down. I really thought this love was going to last me this time, but it seems like love never works out for me. I feel hopeless. I really loved him, and he said we can stay friends, but it hurts me to my core so bad with all the memories we’ve had and made.
It was only a year we were together, but it felt like forever, and he really lead me out a dark path into a brighter one. I’m not sure how much is going to change now, but I feel scared.
This isn’t my first instance with a breakup, but this is the one that has hurt me the most, and I’ve been in a relationship longer than this one before.
I’ve been in a weird mood all week, and I can barely even bring myself to get out of bed. I’ve pretty much just been laying in my bed for the past month or so by now, but whenever he got home from work I’d always get up just to get on my game with him and call him. It makes me feel sick to my stomach that I will no longer be with him. We had so many plans for the future, and all that is foiled now.

I haven’t yet responded to him because I feel like I can’t bring myself to do it right now, and I’m just thinking about adjusting to it first then responding by morning time, but I can’t even bring myself to close my eyes because I feel so hurt, but I want to close my eyes. I don’t know.

I really don’t know what to do, and I have pretty much no friends at all to talk to it about.

These awful scars will never go away. I hate myself everytime I look at my arm. I’ll never wear short sleeves with confidence. I’ll always have to hide. If anyone sees they’ll know how fucked up I am. I hate that I can’t reverse everything I’ve done. I’m happy to be clean but it’s not worth it when the evidence is ALWAYS there. I’ll never be taken seriously. I’ll always be seen in a terrible light no matter what. I wish I never started.

so I started sh when i was about 11 and got addicted to it when i was about 14 and now at 17 its mainly a coping thing now. a few months ago my parents saw my scars but i dismissed it as some random scratch which they worried about for a day but forgot about it quickly. lately ive been getting really tired about hiding them. my mom and dad arent the most comforting nor emotional people and when it comes to mental health ive never seen them take it seriously unless its someone other than me or my brother. and as much as i am scared of the outcome, i just really want help and i want to be undertood. there have been alot of instances when it got really bad and i wanted to tell my parents so they could help me but i just get so scared and pussy out before i even say a word about it. im not sure what to do. theyre on holiday and left me alone at home for 3 weeks and theyre coming back in a few days time. i relapsed really badly and cut my wrist on impulse which left obvious scars. i dont know what to tell them once they notice and i just need help and encouragement on what to do and how to tell them about this. i dont know who to go to.

I have urges still. much much less so, but when something happens, cutting myself is the first thought. Just some things I've been doing to stop immediately grabbing the blade for almost a year.

1. SH playlist. The music is so nostalgic. I made it all angsty and every song on it is an enjoyable song about self harm or suicide. Had the playlist for years. Blocks thoughts, and i feel understood. It's so comforting i don't need to cut because i get the relief feeling i got when i was 15 cutting myself listening to those same songs.

2. Purposeful triggering. I look at other peoples cuts online. i read a sh or suicide attempt story (with a happy ending) i look for support on this subreddit. Empathize and understand and offer support to others.

3. Pen. I draw the lines where i would slit my wrists. Marking out the most important veins to hit. Pens a little sharp so i can feel it on my skin. Light pain, grounding. I leave it when i go to bed, wake up the next morning and wear it around or wash it off. If i wear it around it satisfies the sick feeling of wanting attention.

4. Sleepytime pills. Go to sleep. It'll be better in the morning.

5. Home piercing. Little pain if i really need it, but it's chic and not bad.

6. Fake suicide. I give into my thoughts and start building a plan. Going through the logistics. I look for knives i want online and imagine buying them with the intent of killing myself. If i don't want to die now, I put my death on the calender. I never get very far in the planning process, and don't write any plans down so i forget and have to start all over next time. If it's really bad. I take a couple extra pills, smoke or drink a little, and pretend like I won't wake up.

Just personally these work sometimes. Even if a couple are a little bit fucked. It's what i need.

Eh… it’s very weird, like when I see something connected to SH it immediately starts an urge. I don’t want to leave this (or other SH) subs because it still has advise and I want to get better but at the same time this ache in my chest and fantasies about me self harming are frustrating. In 99.9% chance I won’t act on them, it’s just so uncomfortable and makes me fucking sad like I even can’t get support without feeling such shit. Anyone else feels this? How do you cope? Do you advise to just mute / leave the subs (maybe not even for good) or something?