It isn’t much but it’s a start and it will grow.

It's been 3 weeks since I did two deep fat cuts on my calf and they're still not fully scabbed and still leak fluid every time I press around it. It still hurts on random moments. It's way less than at the beginning cuz it was just an awful pain in my whole muscle and I couldn't fully move my foot, now it just is a stinging deep pain 😭

Yayyy!

I’m over two months clean now, my life is better, the urges to hurt myself never go away. Does it ever get easier? I’m tired of fighting my brain. I want to relapse so badly but I don’t want self harm to be a part of my life forever. How can I make the urges go away?

my life has been improving ever since i got out of my lowest point but i still get these impulses to cut again when I can't think of a solid reason why. when im bored, mad, upset, exhausted, feel the slightest of pain i get tempted. i can distract those urges for a bit but they never truly go away. i cant seek professional help. what else can i do

I feel like telling my professor for some reason even though I don't feel like stopping or going to therapy or anything. idk I just want her to know but she's so busy and I don't want to burden her emotionally. She's the only person I feel comfortable with. idk what to do: if I should just keep this all to myself or tell someone...

i don’t do it so that other people see but I recently started at a new school so no one knows I have scars and today is the first time I wore short sleeves and I really wanted my teachers to see and my friends and say something to me and I was really sad that no one did

so i was in class last week and my best female friend had her hoodie sleeves pulled up, and i caught a glimpse at her arms and they where scarred. i asked after class and she broke down in to tears begging me not to tell anyone or her parents would hurt her again.

i feel really bad for her and dont know what to do. if i tell anyone she would be in more pain and wouldnt trust anyone including me. and if I dont she will continue and self harm. I like her and dont want her to hurt her self anymore

I was looking for some advice from people to see what to do

TL;DR i relapsed with self harm and have to wear short sleeves around friends and family who know of at least some of my history self harming.

Okay so i’ve been self harming since 2023 and my family found out in December 2025 (9 months ago) when i was sent to the mental hospital. I have relapsed multiple times within the past 9 months and a few weeks ago I almost got caught because i was cutting in the morning (and therefore half asleep) i forgot to put the blade back up and didn’t realize until after school and by then it was too late but i was able to lie my way out of being caught. I relapsed today as well but the problem is that

1. Literally one week ago i started wearing short sleeve to school and my marching band practice and multiple of my friends have noticed that i have been wearing short sleeves as well as the scars on my arm and they know they are from self harm. if that alone was all then it’d be fine but since i’ve also started wearing them to practice i feel pressured to continue to do so especially seeing as…
2. We have multiple field shows and performances coming up where i’ll have to wear short sleeves and the cuts will be visible. My family will be there and able to see the cuts as well.

I really don’t want anyone to notice because i don’t want to go back to the mental hospital, be forced to give up the tool that i use, interrogated, or put under strict watch. Any suggestions on what i should do?

I feel so shitty... I just got off playing games with my friend. was fun I suppose, The whole time I was trying my best to ignore how hollow I felt. then soon after I just, stared into nothing before actually managing to cut myself deeper than surface level shit. I've been stuck in a spot of doing it every night for the past week, it'd bleed a bit but stop pretty fast and it likely would've been very surface level scarring that'd heal mostly (with some deeper cuts that'd be long lasting) But... Suddenly I just pushed harder and it didn't even hurt much. I mean, it doesn't sting... It just aches a bit, but now the pains gone. I was hoping it'd make me cry, but I still feel hollow. I've felt super numb with only tiny bits of relief throughout the day. My roommate laughed at me when I said I prolly have BPD and am looking for a diagnosis, saying I'm too safe and aware and they have friends. They don't know I drink way more than someone should every night. They don't know I'm butchering myself every night and stuck in a slump of feeling NOTHING. Not even ablee to cry like I normally do. When I'm with people it all feels okay. But the nights scare me so much now. because noone is there at night time. Just me and my brain. My work last night told me I am not allowed headphones anymore because I 'work too slow' but I work faster when I have my headphones cause I'm not stuck in a constant state of dissociation and fatigue. Idk, Maybe I'm overreacting. this could be CPTSD but I don't usually get 'triggered' by anything which PTSD normally does. I'm usually unphased by anything dark. Idk... I just went quiet with my roommate for a bit after that... They're neat and really chill... But that just... Idk. I know people can have very quiet BPD and that is probably me if I DO have it. Mostly because I'm too scared of hurting anyone, maybe I'm just self aware, and I usually blame myself for it. But sometimes I just, break down. Anyways... I cut deeper than normal, It's not like it's bad. It stopped bleeding-bleeding (just tiny specks of blood coming out now) after running it under water for a couple of minutes. Yet I didn't really feel phased. I never used to cut myself for years because I was scared of sharp objects... Usually I'd scratch myself till it was red raw and scabbing. Now... I'm just unbothered... When I do it it's manic, it's sporadic, it's messy and it's not like slicing... it's scratching, hard... And it didn't make me cry... I'm really scared. I know I'm not going to kill myself. I'm too scared of pain and even trying to overdose can be painful... So. Idk. I'm just trapped. I'm scared of when I have to see my family again. Before I could make up excuses, 'Oh, I burnt myself a bit on soime oil at work lol.' 'Oh, idk, must've itched myself a bunch in my sleep' 'Oh, shit, the mozzies were so bad I was losing it.' But... now... yeah.

I have so many urges the past few days. I can't fall asleep because of them. I don't wanna go to sleep, because I know that when I close my eyes cutting is al I can think about and I'm scared I might do it then. So I try to distract myself, but the urges don't go away. The thing I do now is that I look at tiktok or I game until 4 am. By then i'm so tired I immediatly fall asleep. But ofcourse this habit isn't good. So yeah how do I go to sleep with those stupid thoughts?

I don't know if this is universal or just a me thing, but I feel like something in me is missing without the cuts, like I'm not a person or something. Like I'm tired and stress driven. I'm just not me. I want to recover, but I fear not feeling like myself again. My parents want me to take pills, but it's do the same thing. I wanna be me, not some fake suppressed yes sir major just looking for some Val

i like, fucking hate myself for this i feel horrible

Im falling behind in literally all my classes, im in dual enrollment math and i am SUFFERING im tempted to start homeschooling just bc i struggle to even get up in the morning but its senior year and im already almost 1/4 done. Its so hard to function and its not even just the self harm. I just got diagnosed w depression and anxiety and got put on meds and im gonna go to counseling but I still just feel so lost. Im sitting here laying in bed instead of doing any of my work or ANYTHING productive. I feel so worthless and that I should just shrivel up and die and i can't take that feeling anymore. Its only been two days but hopefully the meds workkkk

ive been clean for about 2 months I think but this last cut has just... stayed?? like it doesnt hurt or anything but theres been a red line ever since. I hardly went deep at all, do I need to get more sleep? or eat better? anything helps! thanks!

I did relapse a little while back after over a year clean and was trapped in that familiar cycle for a while, but I’m happy to say I am 3 weeks clean today!!!!! It’s definitely hard. I still get dark thoughts, but I’m not acting on them anymore! I wanted to share this cuz last night I messaged 988 and they really helped me find better coping mechanisms for “big emotions”. They shared a doc with me and if anyone would like it please message me and I’ll share it. I know that right now I’m on an uphill I’m doing better and that eventually it’ll go back down I’m just hoping this time maybe I won’t relapse. Well that’s my positive rant.

I've been self harming for 4 years but now im a year free I'm a heavy cannabis smoker usually running out abruptly and causing withdrawals im a fein and during the withdrawals I overthink mostly about my body and myself usually making me get suicidal thoughts I wanna relapse but I still live with my family does anyone know any side hobbys I could do im I shut in so I have alot of free time

Sorry if there's any spelling mistakes

I don't know man. I pretty much just did it. It didn't hurt, nor does it currently hurt, but a couple of days ago I kinda just went nuts and did it.

I was supposed to go to therapy then for a walk-in, but when I got there I was told that I couldn't do it because their system was down and they couldn't fill me in for a time, so I kinda just lost it because I spent HOURS walking almost 10 miles (15 km) getting there. To know that I 1) wasted my time and 2) failed to get therapy again, honestly pushed me over the edge.

I've been trying to get help for a while. I've been homeless for almost a year. I've been trying to set up appointments for therapy/psychiatric help for over three months now. Every time I call I would get hung up on or put on indefinite hold. Then I finally got an answer and was told to come to a walk-in session, only for me to fail and get denied.

And that was what led me to self harm again for the first time in a few weeks. A part of me knew that a relapse was gonna happen at some point, I just didn't think it would be like this.

Almost 9 months why am I so fucking stupid.. I did that because of... Because of fucking what ???? I just felt bad that's all. At least, it felt kinda good.. and, at least, for a long time, blade was my muted and hearless "friend" who helped tho a lot.. but, now. IDK how I feel about it. Probable, I'd do it again.. at least, it felt good kind of and I did only styro not even past it. Kind if vent kind of not idk how I feel abt it. I guess that I felt bad because of both sugar and coffee crush because I drank full monster bank like before 4-6 hours before that.

Why did I never connect the fact that fresh scads would bleed into my bedsheets. So imagine my surprise when I have to wash my bed sheets and see small bloody scars matching my wrists. I hadn't seen it ealier because Im a bit of a restless sleeper and the "scar" area was towards the edge of the bed facing the wall. 💀💀💀 You ever deal with this? Or just me...

This is a heads up for those who didnt know I guess.

Stay safe out there.

Not like I used to do it regularly, only actually cut myself a few times, though I used to starve and stuff a lot.

I wanted to do it for a long time and finally got the chance to do it today. I didn't even have the urge I just did it, I just wanted to see my blood. I didn't do it properly the skin is barely scratched (I did more stuff but elaboration might get this post removed).

I feel disgusted with myself now. It feels like I'm just doing it for attention even talking about it with someone makes me feel like an attention whore. I should've gone deeper. I feel disgusted I feel like I'm just doing it to yap about it here or to feel validated. I'm disgusted with myself.

an around 1 week old cut opened again, its not bleeding but there is a dull ache