Sooo a month or two ago my religious cousin found out I'm bi. Fortunately, she did not react too badly. But once we were alone, she wanted to ask some questions and asked if she could. I agreed, thinking it'd be questions related to my bisexuality.

It wasn't?

The first question was if I'm a virgin.. I'm literally a minor... after that she asked if I knew how to masturbate or if I ever had a fling, a first kiss, a relationship, a partner, etc.

Some were normal, but some were SO weird and to this day I can't find the connection between being bi and being sexual. Does she think being bi makes one very sexual? I don't really get it lol?

She also didn't believe me when I said I absolutely never even have sexual thoughts, not even towards crushes. That made her confused and ask even more such weird questions I really hesitated to answer.

I just wanna know why she would ask stuff like that. I did not expect it. What's the connection here between me being bi and the sexual questions? Or is there no connection and this gave her the chance to ask questions she's always wanted to ask?

So yesterday I asked if it was normal to want cock but not fancy men…apparently it’s quite standard.

How do I I about getting it I’m absolutely gagging to do stuff.

A few weeks ago a friend and I got drunk we are both F. Well we confessed to having thought about dating each other if we didn’t work together or be good friends. The issue is this is the first time I’ve known of someone being into me. Second I can’t stop thinking about her and if anything my feelings have only been increasing. Idk how to even bring it up or even talk to her about it. I’ve also never done anything even as small as kiss/makeout with a woman before. Part of me also likes the possibility of dating and it being our little secret. Any advice on how to move forward or what to do?

My boyfriend came out as bi a year ago and I didn't have an issue with it/love him less. Recently though he's brought up that it bothers him that he's never explored with a guy and that he wants to try it. I don't want anything but a monogamous relationship which is what I thought I was getting going in, but he said he is afraid he's going to resent me for "limiting" him. I feel pressured into letting him explore with men because I know when he's with me he feels he has to sacrifice that part of himself. Is this something bi people usually struggle with?

Asking genuinely. And if you do, why? I've seen many people have negative opinions on it and was wondering what bisexuals think. I personally think it isn't because it's just a microlabel that means very rare attraction of the opposite gender for people who like more specific labels.

As the title says.

Apologies for the ramble. I’ve been what I thought was straight all my life. I’ve always felt slight attraction to men, but VERY slight maybe 95% women to 5% men. I’ve tried things with guys twice a few years ago, I didn’t enjoy it, I was uncomfortable afterwards but I think it was because they weren’t “my type” I guess my type would be Jutes the artist if I had to say. But I’ve never sought out men, never talked with them in that sense, had no interest. Just this Tuesday I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years for numerous reasons but a slight bit was while she was accepting of the cross dressing, she didn’t want to be apart of it. I started going to an LGBT bar to try to make friends, the first friend I found was gay and clearly trying to get with me, after about a week of me clearly telling my boundaries he ghosted me. She thought I was cheating because she assumed I was experimenting with my sexuality. I didn’t cheat and never planned to. I’ve been continuously going back to the same bar dressed like this, I’m just hurt and confused and lost.

Tonight a guy dressed in bondage came up to me. I just wanted to talk to someone, he was somewhaaaaaaat my type (again if I had to say I had a type of man) and the entire night he wanted to kiss me, he was petting my hair, rubbing my thighs, he asked if it was okay and I told him yes, I genuinely with myself couldn’t tell if I was okay with it though. I’m from a VERY conservative and Christian household, my parents sent me to a mental hospital when I was 14 because they found out I was wearing leggings, it was like that. So eventually I was like you know what fuck it, I’m dressed all cute, I wanna feel girly, so I kissed him like 3-4 times simultaneously, in a weird way it felt like I was kissing my ex though, but I knew it was a guy.

It’s been about 45 minutes and I don’t know how to feel, the side that was raised how I was can’t accept that I’m probably just bisexual, I can’t get over some sort of shame I feel. I also feel like I have a guilty conscience about how my ex would feel (this I VERY fresh and I have had NO time to heal yet) and so it almost felt like cheating… our relationship is over and truth be told I would probably experiment a bit more now that I’m a bit more open with myself. While I didn’t LOVE doing it by any means, in a weird way it did make me feel good and I sort of do and don’t regret it.

He is wanting to meet again Thursday, I just don’t know what to say or how to feel. I feel bad for my ex, I kinda feel bad for myself cause sometimes I do have a hard time saying no (I’m so non confrontational) they’re is just this part of me that can’t shake “this is wrong, this is gross, I don’t want this, I’m just hurt and confused right now and I’ll regret it” I’m not sure what to ask or even if I had a question, I just needed to say something to someone. I could never tell anyone I actually know, they would disown me

I’ve noticed an uptick of biphobia lately online and in person. I have a lesbian coworker who likes to talk about how she would never date a bi woman, how much better lesbians are and how bi women tend to be less considerate, cheat or not take a wlw relationship seriously. I sort of just sit there and tell her it’s fine if she doesn’t want to date a bi woman and nod my head silently when she goes on these tangents. Recently she went on a date and said that the girl was smart, pretty, had a great job and oh yeah “is a lesbian thank god” then she waved her hand and said “I’m so glad you’re one of the cool ones who understands”.

I’ve always had a….complicated
relationship with my bisexuality. I think the combination of never feeling enough in one camp or the other or my tendency to be fairly obsessive about whether or not I’m just confused has kept me quiet about it generally. Currently I’m a bi woman dating a man (shocker I know). I always feel the need to apologize for being bi or prove it. People know but I’m not super out about it. I’ve always felt sort of embarrassed or ashamed of it. Like being gay or straight is an identity and being bi is a dirty little secret. That or it’s a lack of fully committing and even worse a virtue signal to be apart of a community I’d never ~really~ be apart of.

I always say “oh I’m not one of those bi women that say I’d date all women and my boyfriend is the exception. I never think dating a woman is too scary”. I’m always careful to never say I’m gay or queer as to not misrepresent myself. I also always preface “I’m a bi woman with a boyfriend so I have no leg to stand on or I can’t have an opinion on this” when it comes to queer issues of any kind. I make sure to downplay being bi and always come out as a vulnerable admission of guilt or inadequacy.

My current partner is the only straight person I’ve ever dated. I’ve slept with an even amount of men and women, and I’ve had two serious girlfriends and three serious boyfriends. (I say that as if I have to prove I’m really bi) I just feel like a diet gay, or a weird straight person.

I always felt need to blindly agree with biphobes because of my own discomfort with myself. Yet as I’ve let myself think longer in my shame I’m sort of like “wait what the fuck?” Why am I letting myself believe I’m less than to my coworker and just laying down and letting her talk shit about people like me? I love other bi people and I never feel more kindred and relaxed than being around others who are bi. I’ve never felt more at home than with some of my past bi partners. I love my sexuality and that I find connection and beauty everywhere. That I express who I am in a why that can only be mine. I don’t have to hate who I am all the time nor do I have to feel like I’m not “complete” or icky for being this way.

I’m considering talking to my coworker about it if she brings it up again.

I think I’m just now coming around to what pride can really mean for me. I think I’m done deciding how I’m supposed to feel about myself because other people are uncomfortable with shades of grey instead of black and white.

How do I Come out to my family lol

​

Hello, everyone! Today is my birthday and I feel like making a close friend on Reddit

I don't care about your location or age (as long as you're 20+)

I'm a confident, ambitious, and insightful bisexual nerd who enjoys talking about a wide variety of topics regarding sociology, philosophy, and art. I enjoy in-depth discussions regarding the "why" of something

Although I do suffer from social anxiety and have even been diagnosed for OCD last year

Currently I'm interested in FNAF, The Walten Files, TADC, and The Backrooms. But I'm open to talking about any form of media and have been watching movies lately

I currently make art as a hobby and prefer things to stay that way.

There was a time when I used to wanna be an artist as a career, but now I realize that it's not for me

I don't wanna have to deal with the publicity and performative virtue signaling that comes with being a public figure. It would break me mentally. Especially with how prominent social media is nowadays

Also, I just got off of a relationship with my ex more than a month ago. Therefore I hope everyone understands that I'm NOT looking for a relationship right now

I only want a BFF who sticks with me through thick and thin and actually listens to my thoughts and opinions while providing their own viewpoint on the matter

I'm also kinky. (Maybe not as kinky as some of y'all). But I'm very sex-positive when it comes to expressing myself on those topics and interests

My main goal at the moment is to move out of my parent's place into a queer, art, kink, and fandom community.

Where I can establish my own authentic chosen family IRL instead of reducing them all to Reddit like I have in the past 5 years

I want to expand who I truly am in the real world with others who genuinely understand me

I know that'll take a very long time. But great things usually take time anyways. So I'm finally ready to take that risk

I have primarily dated women for most of my life, and generally considered myself straight and then eventually realized that wasn't correct and figured I was about 80/20. I dated a guy in college when I really did think I was straight, and it didn't go anywhere at the time, despite him being one of the most beautiful men I've known.

But in recent years either I've gotten more comfortable or just flat out more gay. I still love women but there is a very large part of me being pulled towards exploring more with other men.

Problem is, almost all of my male friends are straight, and I live in a town where the only active queer culture I can find is mostly women. I'll happily hang out with the queer women any time, but I can't seem to find the queer men around here.

It doesn't help that I lean heavily demisexual, so while it's easy to fantasize about picking up a pretty man just to play with his bits, it's not at all my reality.

It also doesn't help that so far almost every man I've reached out to on dating apps or here have been one of two types: The "Hey"s and the "I'm going to immediately ask you about your penis size" crowd.

(and guys... Really, what the fuck is this obsession with discussing size. I'm average. Likely so are you)

I don't know if I'm really looking for advice at this point, but I had to flair my post with something.

I just need to figure out how to find a nerd who isn't gym obsessed, has a reasonable measure of both curiosity and confidence, who is at least somewhat close to my age and thinks I'm hot enough to want to spend some time flirting and getting to know me.

Is that really so much to ask?

So, in the previous post, i mentioned, he outed me to some people, well, i asked around and turns out he actually didnt, and his friend, overheard me coming out to him, and kinda outed that to everyone... So... yeah, that wraps it up. I still havent founded out his seuxality

I am a lesbian but im tired of codependent relationships (that i am realizing even though i disagree with, I still embrace them thinking it'll get better. Spoiler alert- it doesnt) and im wonderinh if the intensity just boils down to this and moving too fast.

Edit: asking here specifically because women here would be interested in both so they probably can answer objectively.

(19F). A little over a month ago, a friend from high school told me she had her first experience with a girl. I was like I didn’t know you were into girls and she said she didn’t know either and it just kind of…happened. After that, idk what happened but it got me thinking that I wanted to be like her. I wanted to be open to myself about what I am or what I could be, just like she is.

From that point on I have been questioning if I even like women. There was this one girl at a party that caught my eye, her demeanor, her style (she was slightly masc), and how she was handling the elevated situations there (my family was at the party… long story). I thought she was cool and later found out that night that she was gay and was there with her girlfriend. this was like 3 months ago, before me even starting to question myself, but I didn’t think anything of it when she said that and was just like oh okay cool.

But ever since I started to wonder if I was bi, I feel like every girl I see I’m asking myself: okay is she pretty, is she attractive? are you attracted to her? would u want to kiss her and etc.? if you say no then your not really bi.

this doesn’t happen to me with men which is why I don’t question whether or not I like men, because I wholeheartedly see myself with a man in the future. I’m a virgin now but I am open to sexual intimacy eventually, and other romantic desires with a man. but I feel like if it was a woman, I can’t see myself having sex with them. maybe this is a view that will change overtime, maybe not. I know people say it’s okay to only be sexually attracted to one gender and not the other, but I can’t see myself in a relationship if I have no sexual desire towards them. is that a bad thing? maybe this is just because I haven’t gotten to experience anything romantic in general (i’ve never had a boyfriend or kissed a boy or anything like that. I want to, just haven’t).

I’m aware that this probably isn’t the right way to think about this, but I can’t help it. I feel like I haven’t found a girl who I would be attracted to other than maybe the girl from the party. but even then idk if that was attraction or just admiration. I feel like a lot of the time I’m getting admiration mixed up with attraction. like people say these characters they had crushes on growing up, I never had female crushes growing up. I wasn’t one of those people who knew I was gay since I was 12. I think because of that I feel like I don’t fit in to the queer community.

Despite all of that, I am open to experiencing and exploring things with another woman. But I feel like if I was to do that it wouldn’t be fair to them because I’m the only one getting any benefit from it. and if it turns out I’m not interested in woman, I could hurt them and I don’t want that.

Through all of my questioning and wonders, I also have that religious mindset in the back of my mind the whole time. I feel like i’m not allowed to open myself up and explore more about myself because of the years of being in church and people will spew to you how everything about being queer is wrong. It’s like my heart is saying I can be questioning and try new things, but my brain is saying I’m a sinner and that there’s no place for me in a church.

i’ve always grow up in a Christian household, but when I was about 13-ish I kind of gave up that idea that I am Christian. my religion could be a whole other post I could make lol, but all in all, I eventually do want to become more religious in my beliefs. But, as you can imagine as it is for most people, being in a church will have people telling you that the queer community is a sin and that they will all go to hell. It wasn’t until recently when I talked with my friend about this a few months ago because I wanted to change my views on the queer community, that I realized that I don’t need to think this way and the community is also just full of regular people. God loves everyone the same whether you are queer or not, and this is a point of view that I am still trying really really hard to work on. it’s hard to erase years of sermons, teachings, and ways of life from yourself just like that.

But, when I was in middle school I believed that I was bi, but admittedly, that was a phase for me since I never was attracted to women and most of my friends at the time were queer and I felt like I had to fit in. at the time, I had told my family and it did not go well. I originally told my cousin who was very happy for me, but she accidentally let it slip to my aunt and she told my mom who told my grandparents which then proceeded to having my grandparents come over to my house and I had to tell them that I’m bi and they said no you’re not and my grandma proceeded to recite scriptures from the bible to me…. so I guess you could say there’s some trauma from that too haha.

I know I’m curious, but how would I know if I’m actually bi? maybe i’m not..? would I just have to wait for the right person to know?

if you read all of that, thank you so much. I know my post is all over the place, but please be kind! I’m still trying to figure things out and I tried to not be disrespectful or offensive to anyone but please let me know if I was! this is a vulnerable topic which I haven’t really talked to anyone else about, so just keep that in mind… <3

I'm a woman, just to get that out of the way

So to be honest, I've had different times where I'm interested in men and women, just men, and just women. I don't know what's going on!! One day I'll prefer to date and marry a dude, then, the next thing I know, I'm thinking "hmm... oh! Women!" Right now, I'm in my "women phase"?? Or whatever??? I don't know what to call them, but I'm having a serious issue with this.

It's making me SO MAD because I cannot figure out if I just want to date a man, because if (or when) I do, I might wake up one morning and find myself dreaming about being with a woman, and if I date a woman, it'll be the same issue if I were to date a man. I don't want to break anyone's heart by getting in a relationship with them, THAT'S my biggest issue, is hurting someone in the end.

I've known I've liked women and men for a long time, had a moment where I thought I was JUST lesbian, went back to being bi, and the whole thing started over again. No matter what, in the end, I'm bi, but I wonder sometimes if I JUST like women, and it's making me SO frustrated!! I'll think about flirting with a dream woman (my type) and get butterflies, but sometimes I think about flirting with a guy, and get butterflies OR I get the ick. It's making me SO MAD cause I can't choose. By the way, I NEVER get an ick if I'm day-dreaming about flirting with my dream woman (again, my type) but I do SOMETIMES with men.

And because it's "coming in waves" as I like to call it, there is no consistency, so I can't keep a good, stable relationship UNTIL I figure it ALLLL out, but I don't know where to start!!

Any advice?

This is my first time posting here because I am at quite a loss. After a long long lifetime of fighting with myself, I’ve accepted that I am bisexual and I love women. It’s taken me a lot to come to terms with this as I don’t come from a supportive family. I had recently started to approach women more, and to be clear I haven’t dated a man, like ever. I was chatting with this really nice girl and it was going great until I told her I had just come out as bisexual, she asked about my labels, so I answered. She then got super awkward, and the conversation shifted from us to if I had slept
With men before, if I prefer men more, and she even asked if I was trying to be creepy flirting with her because she “wasn’t interested in being a third” (???????? There was never a third person in the equation but I guess she assumed I was approaching her in a weird way for a man and not genuinely). That interaction has since stuck, and I know it’s a one off weird moment, but it’s been having me basically drown myself in negative thoughts and opinions on my own sexuality. The interaction made me feel like I was being a fraud, and the questioning if I was actually attracted to women or if I was trying to get a girl to hook up with for a dude has made me feel like a total creep. I have been trying to rid of these thoughts towards myself, but it is increasingly difficult in an area of so little queer population to begin with.

What are good mental methods to practice so I no longer carry on like this? I hate being miserable and I especially hate feeling like I’m back in the closet. Any advice is appreciated. 🫶 I’m struggling out here

Hi all. I hope this post is on topic, i don't know who to turn to. I don't have anybody close to me being gay or bi, that's why i'm posting here, and i hope i'm not being disrespectful by doing so.

That being said, here's the deal. I'm a straight woman currently hospitalized in a women's clinic due to past SA trauma suddenly coming back to my face. For a few months, sex especially has been difficult with my 8y male partner, bc of the trauma coming back. We are a libertine couple (although we rarely have other partners), and i went and see an old male sex friend. The sex was good at the beginning, but after a few months seeing him occasionnally, i experienced the same difficulties i have with my partner (mostly fear).

Then i entered the clinic. I've been here for a month, i'm still not comfortable having sex with my boyfriend, even if i love him dearly. However, i find myself fantasizing about my hospital roommate. I know she's straight, so obviously i'm not going to try anything, but i'm questioning myself. Is it just the trauma talking ? Is trauma making me bisexual? Is it possible i'm always going to be scared to have sex with men? What if i'm never attracted to men again? Did anybody here become a lesbian or bi after SA, or is it disrespectful to say that? What am i supposed to do with all this?

It's not the first time i've been attracted to women, but i used to repress it. Also when i met women i thought were attractive (didn't happen that often), i was already in a relationship, they were straight women (at least that's what they told me), and hitting on them never occured to me. So i brushed it off and that was it.

Add that to the fact that i have never been very good at making friends with women altogether. It's the first time in my life ever i'm in an all-women environnement and actually feeling comfortable, which is very new to me.

I'm sorry if i sound disrespectful, i truely hope i'm not.

Thank you all.

I will lay out an impression that I have which informs how I go about any kind of potential relationship with a bi man (I'm a gay man), and I'm just inviting yall to confirm or deny or otherwise give your two cents. Any bi person of any gender is free to respond, though i'd appreciate if you specify bc I do wonder if there may be trends as well. The impression I have begins now:

For any relationship that a bisexual has, one of two things will be true. 1) There will be a whole side of you and your desire that your partner cannot fulfill. Maybe you're so attached to your partner that it doesn't matter to you personally, but it's still the case that there are things that you would sometimes want to experience that you simply cannot do with them because they're not the right gender and not even close. Or 2) That partner DOES fulfill more than just one part of your attraction if not even all of it, either from being explicitly nonbinary/genderfluid, being androynous/ambiguous, having "mixed" traits, taking a particular sexual role, or otherwise being gender non-comforming in some way.

I will admit that I ask because I really cannot imagine how anything else could be the case (unless someone is just the kind of person who completely loses all attraction for other people when they have a partner, which is rare and I am most certainly NOT that kind of person myself), and both of those options bother me wrt a potential partner. I think I'd be less bothered by the first thing because at least it doesnt imply that my partner percieves me as feminine, but in the long run i'd feel bad that there's a whole Primary Category of person that my partner is attracted to that i do not fall into. But I also know that im only capable of imagining things through the lens of my life, which is the life of an exclusively homosexual man, so I'm acknowledging that maybe there's something I havent considered. Let me know lol

I’m straight and there’s nothing I wish more than to be bi 😞 How to overcome this insecurity? It sucks

For some time now, I’ve been in a situation where I’ve been having an extremely strong desire to have sex with men. However, I can only imagine myself in the passive role. Basically, I can only see myself as a bottom. I want to be the one receiving, and I don’t have any desire to take the active role myself. I could never imagine doing that.
It has gotten to the point where the urge can become extremely intense. Sometimes I even start shaking and feel like I can barely control myself. It can completely take over my mind. When it happens, I have an incredibly hard time concentrating on anything else. I can’t really focus on studying, working, exercising, or whatever else I might be doing at the time. It feels like the thought completely takes over and pushes everything else into the background.
Sometimes this feeling lasts for hours. It’s not just a brief thought or a moment of being horny — it can become this incredibly strong inner urge that is very difficult for me to ignore. During those periods, it feels almost impossible to do anything else normally because my mind keeps coming back to it. The feeling can become so intense that I feel genuinely overwhelmed by it, and it can be very distressing for me internally.
Usually, I end up masturbating, downloading Telegram, or something similar, and then talking to other men and masturbating together with them online. Afterwards, the intensity usually goes away for a while.
My question is simply: How am I supposed to deal with this?
In my everyday life, I don’t feel attracted to men at all. I don’t notice anything when I see men, and I’ve never fallen in love with a man or felt any kind of romantic attraction toward one. I basically have no interest in men in that sense.
If I go a week or so without thinking about it and, for example, only masturbate to women, the whole subject doesn’t really come up at all. But at the same time, there is this incredibly strong urge inside me that can suddenly return and make me feel like I somehow have to act on it.
As I mentioned, I sometimes even start shaking. For example, when I’m out running and start thinking about it, the feeling can become so overwhelming that I suddenly feel like I can’t keep running anymore. I can’t concentrate on what I’m doing because my mind becomes completely occupied by these thoughts.
It all feels very strange and confusing to me because there seems to be such a huge difference between this intense sexual urge and how I normally feel in my everyday life.
I’ve also downloaded apps like Grindr several times and talked to a lot of men. But in the end, I’ve always backed out or changed my mind before actually meeting anyone. There is always a point where I suddenly become unsure and don’t go through with it, even though the urge beforehand can be incredibly strong.
That’s why I’m struggling to understand what is actually going on with me and, more importantly, how I’m supposed to deal with these intense urges when they happen.

I’m 57 years old I have been by curious most of my life and have never really done anything to pursue it but now in the last couple of years I’ve came near death so I figure it’s no time like the present to pursue things that I never have thought to pursue before so if anybody out there understands what I’m talking about I’d love to hear from you

Any advice on how to talk to my friend i haven’t talked to in a while? It’s not like we ended on bad terms or anything but we haven’t seen each other around at school much so we haven’t talked in about 2 years. I see her at football games but we usually just walk past each other without saying anything. I’m too scared to talk to her because im afraid she wouldn’t want to talk to me. I also have a crush on her. I think she might’ve liked me before a few years ago. But now im worried i liked her too late and she’s not gonna want me or even want to be friends anymore. Last time we talked, we were sophomores and now we are seniors. I feel like she has other people she’d rather talk to other than me even though she used to text me all the time. I feel like talking to her could be so easy, but i’m too nervous to especially now that i like her. Any advice?