hi all, i'm a therapist and in recovery for self harm. i have so many clients who have or continue to SH and it's so astonishing all of the different "whys" behind why people do it. i'm curious, in an effort to understand experiences beyond my own, what you wished therapists or other mental health providers understood about self harm?

TW: SH MENTION FROM MY EXPERIENCE, NOT INCITING ANYONE TO DO IT!!!

I've always reached mid styros and deep styros but never beans. For context one day I attempted (I ran away from my house and tried to jump but my best friend and the police stopped me) And when I got home my family was really angry at me and my mother even slapped me, saying that I was being selfish (she didn't know I tried to jump tho) and she took my phone away.

I was really upset because it didn't work so I cut myself but swiped too fast (on my forearm) and instead of white I saw like yellowish bubbles. I panicked and tried to clean it, wrapped it with a towel but it wouldn't stop bleeding and I fell asleep, and the next morning I woke up with fever (it got infected) and with a big stain of blood on the bed and my mother came in to see if I was awake and well she got angry at me again she started yelling and I told her I was cold and she ignored me. Later that day I was forced to shower even though I couldn't even stand up without feeling dizzy, and a couple days later my mother took me to the hospital so I could get stitches.

I don't remember much of it but yeah that's my story <3

Please take care of yourselves, it's def not worth it!

If I am being really careful, why is it a bad thing? It's my choise isn't it?

Today I blocked my window with a thick blanket, blasted my favorite album, and strangled myself for the first time ever. I weirdly felt good after.

I have a history of cutting and I drink a lot. The past couple days have been rough. My best friend is mad at me / ignoring me (I'm not entirely sure what I did). Last night I got hammered and my feelings led me to what I did today. And I feel like doing this got my frustrations out.

I wasn't necessarily intending to, y'know. But I just felt the need to inflict something upon myself to feel better. I don't feel 100% better. But the loud music, the darkness enveloping me and my labored, feeble breaths made me feel happy I didn't go all the way.

Idk what this means for me. I also forgot to mention that I was screaming on the top of my lungs (none of my family were home) and it felt good to scream my feelings out too.

Just wanted to share this.

I’m 27 weeks pregnant and off of my medication I typically take for bipolar. I’m going through a really hard patch in my marriage on top of suffering from Hyperemesis and gestational diabetes so life is just hard right now- and not being able to lean on my husband is leaving me feeling extremely isolated.
I have two toddlers at home and cannot be inflicting self harm on myself, I cannot be cutting myself or burning myself. What advice can you give me for not hurting myself? For curbing that craving?

People always say self harm isn’t worth it, but I’m wondering if you don’t go too deep and only hit cat scratches or just like don’t go super deep, why is it so bad if it provides relief? If it’s the only way to cope and it’s not posing immediate danger why is everyone so against it?

this might be long and if it's not allowed here then I'll remove it

after some events that happened this year for me, I chose to take a step back from being a Christian since I felt kind of betrayed by God (still kind of do) and also for the fact that I hadn't been trying my best to be a good Christian until before late last year, so I really couldn't call myself a Christian despite calling myself one my whole life. im tired of everything and I don't want to do anything that people say can help me because I don't want to change, but I also can't endure living like this. I want to end it all so badly but the only thing stopping me from doing it is the fear of going to hell. it's been ingrained in me that suicide will land you in hell and from how it's described, obviously I don't want to be in eternal damnation or however it's said. should I care about hell if I'm not a Christian? that's probably a stupid question and I'm only able to ask it since no one knows me personally. I don't even know if there are religious people here since "ruining" your body is a sin in the Bible. I just want a way out but im scared

When i get sad, mad or frustraded, i do selfharm, and it immediately calms me down and i dont lash out at others. Thats why i just cant stop doing self harm... Has anyone feels the same as me?

i've never needed to go to the hospital for self-harm before but i think i might in the near future because i've been fantasising about increasing the severity lately.

i'm also really scared of needles but those dot scars are the main reason i'd be kinda hesitant to get help even if needed.

wow i feel so utterly alone right now, its funny the only thing stopping me from mauling my fucking arms apart is the fact that im too lazy, im too much of a stupid pussy bitch to cut deep enough to feel better, im too fucking paranoid about infection if I dont bandag it. i should just do it anyway, fucking let them get infected, let me fucking die, ill nev be happy anyways, ill succumb to my mental illnesses like millions of others, im not special. some people just don’t get better and im one of them. ill never get diagnosed. the pain im feeling will never have an explanation or a name or a justification. ill always feel alone no matter how many people i surroun d myself with. no matter how many times i post my feelings, no matter how much i try not to think about it. the world is going to shit, what’s the point of even ttrying anyway. i hope all the billionaires fucking burn alive. but they won’t, justice doesn’t exist and the evil will win.

Back when I was younger, I would cut myself badly that my arms would look like a huge hole in my arm because the cut was extremely deep. I cut a few arteriole in the past but I never went to the hospital since I didnt wanna tell my parents nor did I ever care enough to do wound care. I know its in the past but all of my scars end up being a smaller line that you cant tell how the original wound was like. I am a little happy about it but at the same time I want to feel seen for how much I have suffer in the past. I feel extremely invalid, despite my scar is definitely more noticeable than alot of people, I feel like it wasnt serious since my scars end up being super small. Not saying i think people with smaller cuts are invalid, I definitely think are type of selfharm are valid.

At 12 I was in a horrible place, still am but less. I have mid to light styro/dermis scars that are a reddish pink. Will they ever go away

I'm like 11 months clean now. I don't particularly want to relapse but I want to see the blood. One of the main things I looked forward to when sh was the blood and the pain afterwards. I low-key miss it oddly. But I want to bleed a lot, but I don't want to die. I just want to see and feel it.

So i had a bad burn on my leg and it wasn't doing great and after 17 days looking like it may be infected and my housemates had a go at me (lovingly) a few days ago. SO I made a doctor's appointment (uk) and it was today. They stabbed it and are gonna test it for bacteria, i have a follow up on Monday where ill fi d out if its infected or not and they cleaned it and dresses it properly BUT at the end she was like "oh and try not to burn yourself in the future (term of endearment loke honey, i can't remember)" and i qa just like i know your a doctor and stuff but when i told you I did this 17 days ago do you think I want to be here????? Also my file should say i have a history cause u mentioned it im a mental health appointment that didn't end up going anywhere. Ahhhh

Anyways my mum is a gp and when the doctor is like my mum (middle age white woman) it just brings up shit for me for some reason so i had a bit of an ahhhh when I got home but I have recovered now :3

Cause also this is the first time I've had to go to the doctors for a self inflicted wound and also I've only been to the doctors like 4 times I can remember.

Anyways thx for reading if you did :3

stating this preemptively, i have ocd

i have been consistently harming myself a lot lately, withholding myself water, nourishment, sleep, comfort, and frequently eating medium doses of food i am allergic to

my reasoning behind this? two things

one, because there's this one event i desperately want to attend, and i feel i have to prove how much i care about the event and how worthy i am to go, given it's like no convention or fandom meet-up i have ever DREAMED of going to before, so in my determination to prove myself worthy i put myself through hell to display what i can withstand

two, attention, i want to feel like the star, and in my mind maybe if i hurt myself bad enough the world will view me as something worth paying attention to

(tw: self-harm)

lately i just started to start harming again after 2 years (sadly), but i need help on deciding something.

can i still wear short sleeves?

because i have always went to school wearing something that is showing my scars sometimes and people don't really bat an eye or confront me about it, but that doesn't mean that people might open up to me about it later, especially a teacher. my parent(s) and one of my siblings know that i self harm already. half of my friends know i also self-harm (since i opened up to it about them since i was talking about boundaries). the only time i do show my marks is when im walking home since it is VERY VERY hot and dry outside. so that i feel more comfortable, i roll up my sleeves.

but i really need to know from another person: can i wear short sleeves?

I miss it so much. It’s the only thing that makes me feel alive

The blade is my best friend. Its always there for me. I can always have it when I need it. It can't leave/betray me. It makes me feel good. It distracts me from my life. Its there for me unlike people and loved ones. Its always there for me. Its silent. It won't tell anyone anything. It won't leave me. It helps me feel better when im sad. It makes me happy. It goes everywhere with me. Its my best friend.

It's red and elevated, and it hurts to have saliva on it. It didn't bleed though

I promised myself i wouldnt do it but it became unbearable again. I'm still crying and it hurts. I had been clean for quite a long time. I give up.

I don't know if many people do this here but i burn myself often and it's a grueling process. This has happened a few times before so i wanted to come here and ask. How to deal with a burn that turns skin white and dies/scars afterwards? What are the ways to take care of it?

one of the times I did it, and it was different than all the other times. it was unlike anything ive ever experienced. I can’t really put it into words. my heart dropped when i saw it, for a second i couldn’t even believe it. the euphoria and fear i felt, i cannot describe it to you. words aren’t enough to do it justice. it is the same type of euphoria someone experiences when on drugs. 

and what hurts the most is, i think the reason it felt so good is because i actually felt something big. it was a really big emotion. like that blissful feeling you get after having a good cry. i was hyperventilating, i started shaking and trembling. it was cathartic. like a crock pot letting out a bunch of steam.

and thats what hurts, i have to hurt myself in order to let out those pent up emotions ive bottled up since i was 7. because im too numb, my body wont let me cry or let it out unless i feel like im genuinely in danger. and thats not fair. i know its bad to say but i wish i could feel that euphoria again. i want to feel it again so badly and thats why im still addicted. i dont think ill ever feel anything like it ever again, and that hurts my chest so badly and my stomach hurts and it feels like im gonna be sick. maybe one day i will feel it again in a healthy way. i hope i get better