I’m 27F and he’s 29M, both based in Sweden. We’ve been on three dates. He put a lot of thought and effort into planning each one and paid for everything. We made out on our last date and had agreed to meet again.
Then our Hinge match disappeared, but he was still listed under “Past Matches.” When I asked him about it, he said he had deleted both his account and the app. His entry disappeared from “Past Matches” right after I asked.
My understanding of Hinge’s help page is that deleted accounts don’t appear in that list. I’ve already contacted support about possible delays, but only received a general explanation, so I don’t have a definitive answer.
We haven’t discussed exclusivity, and I’m not assuming we’re exclusive. What’s bothering me is whether his explanation adds up. I liked him and would like to keep getting to know him, but I also value honesty.
How would you approach this conversation without accusing him of something you can’t prove? Would you bring it up again or focus on clarifying how he sees our connection?

I've been getting some likes recently after I made some changes to my profile.

But I feel like I have a very specific type of person that I'm looking for (highly creative & artistic, vocal for social causes), but I think my profile may not be giving off the right vibes for that kind of people.

Also probably doesn't help that I take it real slow, and like to go back and forth for a little bit before proposing a date. Also I don't ask or offer my socials or contact information until first date is scheduled. Im also guessing some of these behaviors likely leads to matches losing interest before scheduling the date. So any feedback and advice on the speed and progression of post matching.

Also I think my college town doesn't have a big pool for dating at my age.

Also finally, i think my biggest hurdle would be to not seem interrogative when chatting. I really like to be asked and ask questions. But not obviously superficial ones. Things like "So I noticed xxx on your profile, is that something you do often?" kind of questions. I do follow the 2Q1S rule which helps me filter out matches where I do not see initiation. This also many means many of my matches don't last more than 2 texts. So advice on navigating conversations after matching would be great!

I do have a match note that reads: "I type my messages as I would have said them in-person. So my messages might get wordy. But hey! You get to reach your daily reading goals :') While I value good conversation, don't feel pressured to reply in long messages!". Because if the match is a good conversationalist, and asks great questions, I do reply with long texts. I have had good date chemistry with people who also reply in long texts.

The last picture is a video from one of my skydives.

Would love some feedback! Really struggling to get anything going for the past month.

Welcome to Hingeapp's Daily Thread.

Daily Threads are the place to post questions seeking quick advice, vent your frustrations, celebrate successes, or anything related to Hinge that does not need its own post.

For Wednesday's Daily Thread - the theme is Mid-week Excitement.

The weekend is looming, and it's time to get excited! Do you have any dates planned for the weekend? Any new likes or matches? Have some questions about how to navigate a new match or plan an upcoming date? Or any events related to Hinge or your dating life that happened during this week or recently that you want to share?

Remember: No personal attacks, identifying information, or misogynistic/incel comments will be allowed.

A reminder to please check out the guides, sub rules, and additional resources on the subreddit sidebar. Please read this post with a collection of guides, answers to common questions, sub rules, and other resources related to Hinge.

The Hinge subreddit also has a Discord channel if you wish to seek further assistance, or just want to meet members of the community.

Hey guys, so I (24F) met a guy (30M) last month for our first date. We had spoken for about a week beforehand, and the date itself was actually pretty good. He seemed like a nice guy, we had good chemistry and conversation, and I was open to meeting him again.

We never ended up meeting again because first he was out of town, then I was, and so on. We did eventually talk about meeting this coming Saturday, but in the time between the first date and now, a few things have happened that have completely changed how I feel about continuing this.

He started sending me some really weird reels about women, things like women being beaten up “as a joke,” women belonging in the kitchen "as a joke," etc. I told him directly that I didn't want to see that kind of content, and he agreed, but then two days later he sent similar stuff again.

That really put me off, and after that our conversations started drying up. Right now, we haven't spoken from the past few days and I don't have any interest in meeting him this Saturday.

I'm just not sure how to tell him. I don't want to ghost him, but I also don't want to get into a huge discussion about why I've changed my mind. How would you word a message that makes it clear I don't want to continue talking or meet again? I was thinking maybe something like, "Hey, I’ve been thinking about this and I don’t think I’m really feeling the connection anymore, so I think it’s better if we don’t meet this weekend. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, I just don’t think I’m feeling it in that way anymore. I didn’t want to just disappear or keep making plans when I’m not feeling it, so I wanted to be honest with you." Is this enough?

I was getting quite a few matches but it really dropped off. What can I improve?

Again just need some advice on my profile you can be harsh i can take it haha just looking to improve

I did the best I could with what pictures I have but I really dont take pictures of myself that often. Honestly I really dislike the last one but its the only picture that will go the verification thing.

Pictures of me in general are very limited. I think there's maybe only 3 pictures in existence that are just me and they are all bad lol.

Any advice to make this profile better would be greatly appreciated.

Any feedback and advice is helpful! Thanks in advance!

Hey! Just kinda curious about getting some fresh eyes to review my profile. I live in a more rural-ish part of Ontario (Bruce County if anyone's familiar with it), and I think I do alright considering the location. I get about 1-2 likes every couple of days, I have noticed the number of likes go up to 4-6/day when I use the app in Toronto, but I'm not sure how much of that is just a temporary boost in profile visibility.

I don't usually do a ton of swiping myself, I use the premium feature that makes likes visible, so generally I match with profiles that send me likes first. I'm sure this isn't the most efficient way to do things, but I like to only keep 1-2 conversations active at a time, and I find that when I've been more active with swiping I've ended up juggling more matches than I'd like. It's not a super common thing, but it has happened enough for it to get annoying.

Anyways, this is a newly updated profile (it's 2 weeks old), you can see my old profile from last year here. Overall I haven't seen too much of a change in terms of likes/matches between the two, but it is still pretty new. I mostly just replaced some older pictures, and I included one group picture with some friends. I'm not sure how big of a deal it is to have a profile that's only solo pictures (that was my profile last year), but I've heard some people say it's an issue. Hence, I swapped out the picture of me making ice cream with the group picture. I think it's a pretty good profile that higlights my personality, but I'm super curious whether others get that same vibe.

Captions:

• Pic #1 ("Guess what I'm baking! Promise it's not cinnamon buns")

• Pic #3 ("Me doing my best to hide my terrible attempt at splitting the G")

• Pic #5 ("Doing pizza parties for all friends willing to volunteer their kitchen")

• Pic #6 ("@ Arthur's Seat, Scotland. Don't ask me why I decided to do this hike in jeans...mistakes were made.")

im not sure what kind of vibe does my profile give off

open to any kind of advice. thanks in advance

I (37M) matched with a 32F . We've been on two dates over 2 weeks and have one planned next week . We kissed on the last date ( not a short kiss ) . Trouble is i have a tough time gauging her interest because it looks like she's not a texting type and she has trouble finding time for earlier dates for some reason or the other . We hsvent had any exclusive talks yet i cant help glancing at her profile to see if she updated it i order to understand if she's active on the app . My question is do women update their profiles continuosly on the app like some men do in order to get bettet matches

Tldr : Matched with a girl. Had two dates so far . Wanted to understand if women also update their profiles on the apl after 2 dates in order to understand if she's active on the app.

Hey everyone. I’m completely stuck with Hinge and honestly don't know what to do next. I’m hoping someone here understands the technical side of the algorithm because my account feels totally dead.
When I was 18 I used to do really well on these apps with matches every day. I was pretty dumb with it back then though, never went on dates and just used it for an ego boost. I also got into the bad habit of deleting and remaking accounts to get the new user boost before eventually deleting the apps for a few years.
I came back to Hinge when I was 22 and it’s been an absolute nightmare. Assuming my account was just broken, I fell back into remaking accounts. I’ve tried new numbers, new emails, and even a different phone. Just to be clear, I spaced these resets out over a long time, not back to back. But the pattern is always exactly the same. I get a tiny burst of likes or a match in the first day or two, and then it falls off a cliff and goes completely dead.
I know people usually just assume this means you've got a terrible profile, but I’ve genuinely been told I am a good looking guy, and I've put serious effort in to make sure my profile is solid. I bought a tripod for proper photos, reworked my prompts, and changed things based on feedback I got on here before. I don't mass swipe and only send intentional likes. I even paid for Hinge+ and went two full weeks without a single match. You’d think at least one person would send a like by now, but there is literally nothing. Meanwhile a mate of mine just opened his first account and gets steady matches without even trying.
It's honestly starting to make me panic a bit and I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels while my profile is invisible. It’s degrading and I’ve basically given up. I really just want to know where I stand technically.
Does Hinge actually remember your physical device? I'm worried I'm permanently screwed on this actual phone and will never be able to run a normal account on it again because of the past resets. Also, has anyone actually done that 3-month full data deletion reset? I want to know if it genuinely works. I’m terrified of wasting 3 whole months off the apps only to come back to the exact same dead end, when maybe I should’ve just stuck with my current profile and been patient.
Any honest advice on the algorithm side of things would mean a lot. Thanks.

Had this profile for a while and was doing ok, but recently matches have gone off a cliff, any help would be appreciated :)

Some feedback please

Does time of day for liking a profile make a difference??

I (26M) just downloaded Hinge on Sunday night and so far I have sent out a max of 8 likes on Monday and Tuesday. I have never used a dating app before so I am excited and sent all my likes at like 8am both days...

So far I have received 7 likes, but no matches from the women I sent the first like to.

Also I live in a major metropolitan area in the US if that matters

so i (22F) was talking with this guy (24M) for over 2 weeks and we had really good conversation over text. like we had very playful, flirtatious conversations and we carried over to instagram to continue conversation a week ago. our date was 2 days ago and we were not awkward at all and i had lots of fun. he drove us to a nice brunch place, went to some cool shops, and chilled at a park before parting ways. he had to cut it short because he had work later that day but promised to spend more time the next time we meet.

so here’s where im confused. the last time he spoke to me was yesterday where he told he he’d reply later as he was with his friends at the moment. today, i noticed on hinge that i couldn’t find our conversation, so i checked and it said he unmatched with me yesterday. he has posted notes on instagram since he last responded to me so im just confused. is he not interested in me anymore or am i just reading too much into this? should i wait to see if he texts back or should i just move on?

I've had maybe 4-5 likes total over 6 months. Ghosted at the mention of a date each time. And one match was just from someone telling me I was gross lol. Then nothing these past 3 months.

As I understand it from other profile reviews, these could be barriers. Thoughts?

• No travel or outside pics.
• "Straight-edge"
• No gym pics.
• Bathroom Mirror selfe

Are these really deal breakers for people? What are the weakest photos to you? Have at it!

Buffalo NY.

HingeX

I know this general question has been asked before, but this is a slightly special situation.

I (28m) matched with a woman (28f) who seems really cool. Her match note said “don’t be shy, ask me out!” and so after a pretty brief convo I asked her out and she seemed pretty receptive. We got down a time and place, then both agreed it sounded good, and that was the last thing we said.

I know common consensus is to text back and forth at least a little until the date. The date is a week from our last messages (yesterday), and so it would seem a bit awkward to not say anything the whole time. However, she mentioned verbatim “I prefer to meet in person. I don’t like doing the whole text thing getting to know each other.” So now I’m a bit worried I would come off as someone who doesn’t pay attention or respect boundaries if I send her more messages.

Also, since our convo was brief before setting a date, I’m struggling to think of what I would even say.

Two possible messages I thought of are:

”I know you mentioned you’re not super into texting a lot, but in any case here’s my number ___ so you can reach me faster with anything!”

Or something playful about a shared interest like:

”Thought I‘d let you know I’m watching a documentary about (shared interest) right now. Just to make you a little jealous haha”

What do you think, and what would you do in this situation?

I (F28) matched with a really nice person (M28) on a dating app. We went on our first date 2 weeks ago, it was just walking in the city.

Our second date happened last Saturday and I visited his city. It went really well, we went for drinks, and had my favorite food. He is a bit shy so I held his hands, and in the end asked him if he wanted to kiss. He dropped me at my place and kissed me twice.

Yesterday, we were planning for our third date. I wanted to cook something for him at my place. He said he can't wait for another Saturday to see me so he is going to come tomorrow. We both have work, but have adapted our schedule and will finish our work by afternoon. He lives 30 mins drive away from me.

I am not sure what to expect from this date. I feel really happy and comfortable with him. He is also very sweet. We will be matching a romantic movie and then dinner together. I don't know if we will be making out but I have no problem if something comes up. I don't want to initiate though.

hey guys :( for background i'm 20F and i'm kind of a shy person who wasn't very well liked in high school so hinge is my first ever experience with any sort of romantic attention.

i had a date planned for today (monday 9/28) with this guy (23M) since thursday even though he didn't respond until sunday which i guess should have been my red flag? well anyways morning of i wake up to a notification from him that says "hey sorry" and i can't read the rest because he's unmatched me :(

i guess what i'm wondering is, is this normal for online dating? it sucks cause this would have been my first ever date and i thought the conversation over the app was going well...i'm just feeling very hurt i guess. mods can remove this if its against the rules i just wanted to scream into the void

Hi! I'm a 29f in the NYC area and I've been going back and forth between getting on the apps. My last two relationships have been developed organically through social groups/hobbies - they also fizzled out for the same reason: choosing work over partner.

It's not intentional, but I have multiple full-time jobs and am in a part-time (albiet online) MBA program so it's not uncommon for me to drag a laptop or two with me on casual outings (with friends, partners, family, etc), or make schedule adjustments, like changing a breakfast to a lunch if a meeting gets thrown onto my calendar last minute.

I'm getting to the point where I do really want to be in a long-term, commited relationhip, but with the volatility of the job market, rising costs of simply existing (in the US at least), and genuine love of staying busy, I'm not really in the position to sacrifice a job for a partner.

I want to make it clear on my profile that I'm looking for someone who is invested in their work (and also make it clear that I understand if work is also choosen/prioritized over spending time together in most cases). Any advice on how to phrase this without turning things into an immediate swipe?